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Needy, needy, needy.
[Absolutely not a sincere complaint. Umemiya murmurs it against Endo's lips, shifting his knee to offer more pressure.]
Think you can get yourself off against me, just like this? I've been wondering since that night under the mistletoe. What you might have done, if I hadn't backed down.
[Absolutely not a sincere complaint. Umemiya murmurs it against Endo's lips, shifting his knee to offer more pressure.]
Think you can get yourself off against me, just like this? I've been wondering since that night under the mistletoe. What you might have done, if I hadn't backed down.
[It may be an overly charitable read of the situation, but Accelerator is chalking his discomfort up entirely to his own personal baggage and not something calculated by Endo. It would be hard to argue that, given the guy doesn't even know what his food preferences are, and the fact that he made a concentrated effort to reserve a table that would be quiet is downright conscientious of him.
He slouches a little in his seat at the pestering, scowling over his menu.]
Tche, I can be civil.
[He'll behave! Even if Endo is only teasing him he wouldn't put it past such an upscale restaurant to be willing to kick customers out if they ruin the atmosphere of the place. It's much easier to just have a quiet meal than to be a nuisance and start trouble for no real reason, so he can reign himself in to an extent. His behaviour? Sure. The swearing is a little harder to tamp down on, thanks to it being more of a verbal tic, though he can at least try.
He turns his eyes back to the menu, rereading it again closely.]
What's good here? Do they have any coffee?
[Coffee will definitely help his mood out. And he figures that if he doesn't know what half of the options on the menu are it'd be a lot easier to simply get Endo's opinion. That way he won't be floundering like he is right now.]
He slouches a little in his seat at the pestering, scowling over his menu.]
Tche, I can be civil.
[He'll behave! Even if Endo is only teasing him he wouldn't put it past such an upscale restaurant to be willing to kick customers out if they ruin the atmosphere of the place. It's much easier to just have a quiet meal than to be a nuisance and start trouble for no real reason, so he can reign himself in to an extent. His behaviour? Sure. The swearing is a little harder to tamp down on, thanks to it being more of a verbal tic, though he can at least try.
He turns his eyes back to the menu, rereading it again closely.]
What's good here? Do they have any coffee?
[Coffee will definitely help his mood out. And he figures that if he doesn't know what half of the options on the menu are it'd be a lot easier to simply get Endo's opinion. That way he won't be floundering like he is right now.]
[ That sounds like a challenge — one that has Endo opening his eyes and grinning against Umemiya's lips. ]
'Course I can. Easy.
[ He speaks this against Umemiya's mouth, before lightly nipping at his bottom lip. Then, holding his gaze, Endo moves himself against Umemiya's leg, seeking that friction. He starts slow, just that first mild movement, a pause, and then he rubs against him once more. ]
'Course I can. Easy.
[ He speaks this against Umemiya's mouth, before lightly nipping at his bottom lip. Then, holding his gaze, Endo moves himself against Umemiya's leg, seeking that friction. He starts slow, just that first mild movement, a pause, and then he rubs against him once more. ]
[It absolutely was a challenge. Is a challenge. Even as Endo nibbles his lip, Umemiya is smiling against him.]
Show me, slut.
[He's not going to do anything further to help. This is all Endo's show to perform. It was hot under the mistletoe and it's still hot now.]
Show me, slut.
[He's not going to do anything further to help. This is all Endo's show to perform. It was hot under the mistletoe and it's still hot now.]
[ Endo, having long since decided what to order, sets his menu down and sits back in the booth with a slight quirk of his lips.
When he thinks of Accelerator's outburst in the hospital, he treats it like a fond memory — a gift of insight that slipped through the limitations he faced at the time. Endo has mapped another of his boundaries and now has a sense of how much pressure it will endure.
At the time, he'd been messing around and enjoying their interaction mostly on a surface level, but he's since poured over their conversation a few times. There are thresholds to Accelerator's reactions, and Endo is keeping tabs on all of them, even this one — this shift from criticism to compliance.
This is natural for him — as natural as drawing Accelerator into the gang fight was at the beginning of all of this. But Endo doesn't always do it quite as consciously as it may seem. He was speaking the truth when he told Accelerator that he fell for him — that godlike side of himself, whose memory he revisits each night before bed. That means he harbors a desire to pull him closer, to keep himself entrenched in his life, to remain a permanent factor in Accelerator's mind. It also means that Endo has both a conscious and subconscious need to set a stage and shape the narrative toward his goals.
In short, Endo doesn't want to let him go. And he'll make sure he doesn't have to.
Sometimes that means testing temperament, and sometimes it means ordering coffee. ]
'Course they do. It's usually for dessert, but we'll order it early.
[ The key to restaurants like this: they just want their well-paying customers to leave happy. If a guy with a foul mouth asks for a coffee before food, they aren't going to give him weird looks. ]
What's good really depends on the kind of meat you like. What're your preferences?
[ This, too, is both natural and orchestrated. Endo wants to know what Accelerator enjoys and doesn't enjoy. His interest is in the whole package, even if his focal point is specific. ]
When he thinks of Accelerator's outburst in the hospital, he treats it like a fond memory — a gift of insight that slipped through the limitations he faced at the time. Endo has mapped another of his boundaries and now has a sense of how much pressure it will endure.
At the time, he'd been messing around and enjoying their interaction mostly on a surface level, but he's since poured over their conversation a few times. There are thresholds to Accelerator's reactions, and Endo is keeping tabs on all of them, even this one — this shift from criticism to compliance.
This is natural for him — as natural as drawing Accelerator into the gang fight was at the beginning of all of this. But Endo doesn't always do it quite as consciously as it may seem. He was speaking the truth when he told Accelerator that he fell for him — that godlike side of himself, whose memory he revisits each night before bed. That means he harbors a desire to pull him closer, to keep himself entrenched in his life, to remain a permanent factor in Accelerator's mind. It also means that Endo has both a conscious and subconscious need to set a stage and shape the narrative toward his goals.
In short, Endo doesn't want to let him go. And he'll make sure he doesn't have to.
Sometimes that means testing temperament, and sometimes it means ordering coffee. ]
'Course they do. It's usually for dessert, but we'll order it early.
[ The key to restaurants like this: they just want their well-paying customers to leave happy. If a guy with a foul mouth asks for a coffee before food, they aren't going to give him weird looks. ]
What's good really depends on the kind of meat you like. What're your preferences?
[ This, too, is both natural and orchestrated. Endo wants to know what Accelerator enjoys and doesn't enjoy. His interest is in the whole package, even if his focal point is specific. ]
[ It doesn't take much for Endo to grow fully hard. His arousal started the moment Umemiya shoved him onto the bed. Held like this, with Umemiya bearing down on him and that knee perfectly positioned against his cock, getting him all the way there is quick — almost too easy.
Not that he minds at all. Umemiya wants a show, and Endo will give it to him.
He rolls his hips again, still maintaining eye contact. The friction of fabric between his cock and Umemiya's knee feels raw enough to promise an ache when all of this is done, but right now, it's pure pleasure. Another roll of his hips, and that feeling grows — makes him tense with a burst of fresh heat within him, as though pleasure is warming him from the insight out. Then he outright bucks against Umemiya, and the increase in intensity makes him momentarily close his eyes, biting his own lip and stretching within Umemiya's hold. ]
Fuck...
[ Spoken in a murmur, softly, but with an edge that threatens to give way. ]
Not that he minds at all. Umemiya wants a show, and Endo will give it to him.
He rolls his hips again, still maintaining eye contact. The friction of fabric between his cock and Umemiya's knee feels raw enough to promise an ache when all of this is done, but right now, it's pure pleasure. Another roll of his hips, and that feeling grows — makes him tense with a burst of fresh heat within him, as though pleasure is warming him from the insight out. Then he outright bucks against Umemiya, and the increase in intensity makes him momentarily close his eyes, biting his own lip and stretching within Umemiya's hold. ]
Fuck...
[ Spoken in a murmur, softly, but with an edge that threatens to give way. ]
You're going to make a mess of those nice pants, and then I'm going to clean you up and make you change back into your pajamas before I cuddle you.
[And he makes that sound just as hot and mildly threatening as any promise he's made Endo while holding onto him. And then he bends his head down to nip at the skin right below Endo's jaw.]
[And he makes that sound just as hot and mildly threatening as any promise he's made Endo while holding onto him. And then he bends his head down to nip at the skin right below Endo's jaw.]
[The prospect of getting to have some coffee causes Accelerator to visibly relax. Chances are it'll be a lot more high quality than the canned crap he usually chugs, but that isn't a big deal. As long as it isn't being loaded down with sugar and cream and god-knows-what he'll happily take it.
What throws him off is Endo asking him about his preferences. Honestly, he was expecting Endo to just give a dish he likes, or call the waiter over so they can rattle off a list of whatever is ordered most often by other customers, not ask what he likes. That isn't something people usually ask him.
But... he supposes it's a normal thing to do, even though nothing about this is normal.
There's a little pause from him as he tries to push that thought to the background of his mind, then realizes he doesn't have much of an answer. The addiction he has to canned coffee only extends that far; when it comes to actual food he has always followed the precept of 'eat whatever makes you happy.' That means it was rare for him to seek out healthy meals. If Yomikawa served a salad as part of dinner then whatever, but it wouldn't be his first choice in a restaurant.]
I don't know, I'm not picky. I'm just more used to eating stuff like fried chicken or tonkatsu.
[In other words, cheap comfort food one can get at family restaurants. He scratches his head, giving this some more thought. Even though he's been out of the country a few times it was always on business, and he never gave much consideration towards the food. One incident in England is sticking out to him though, so he may as well mention it.]
I had a lamb burger, once. It was shitty. [He shrugs, aware the answers he's given around super helpful.]
What throws him off is Endo asking him about his preferences. Honestly, he was expecting Endo to just give a dish he likes, or call the waiter over so they can rattle off a list of whatever is ordered most often by other customers, not ask what he likes. That isn't something people usually ask him.
But... he supposes it's a normal thing to do, even though nothing about this is normal.
There's a little pause from him as he tries to push that thought to the background of his mind, then realizes he doesn't have much of an answer. The addiction he has to canned coffee only extends that far; when it comes to actual food he has always followed the precept of 'eat whatever makes you happy.' That means it was rare for him to seek out healthy meals. If Yomikawa served a salad as part of dinner then whatever, but it wouldn't be his first choice in a restaurant.]
I don't know, I'm not picky. I'm just more used to eating stuff like fried chicken or tonkatsu.
[In other words, cheap comfort food one can get at family restaurants. He scratches his head, giving this some more thought. Even though he's been out of the country a few times it was always on business, and he never gave much consideration towards the food. One incident in England is sticking out to him though, so he may as well mention it.]
I had a lamb burger, once. It was shitty. [He shrugs, aware the answers he's given around super helpful.]
[ In response to that, Endo tilts his head back and moans, but he doesn't stop grinding himself against Umemiya's knee. His range of motion may be limited enough, but it doesn't temper his fervor as he really gets to moving his hips, he pace growing quicker. ]
I want —
[ He is in no position to want; he's entirely at Umemiya's mercy, ready to come apart at the seams, those promises in his ear. ]
Please —
[ He rolls his hips again, and again, and there's a tenseness to his body now that proves he's holding back, refraining from loosing himself so he can say, breathily: ]
A kiss —
[ His lips are parted, searching — though not outright claiming. ]
I want —
[ He is in no position to want; he's entirely at Umemiya's mercy, ready to come apart at the seams, those promises in his ear. ]
Please —
[ He rolls his hips again, and again, and there's a tenseness to his body now that proves he's holding back, refraining from loosing himself so he can say, breathily: ]
A kiss —
[ His lips are parted, searching — though not outright claiming. ]
[ Luckily for Accelerator, Endo's accustomed to tastes like his. That tends to be the diet he and Takiishi indulge in at home, as Takiishi's palate is, it seems, similar to Accelerator's. Cheap comfort foods, fast food, American-style burgers — and bubble tea. That's what he's really into now.
So, as Accelerator struggles, Endo smiles — and it's a smile that's a little too soft about a conversation about food. He doesn't make any effort to suppress it, because why should he? Anything that reminds him of Takiishi is going to get at least a hint of fondness from him. And there's more to it, too. He's always been drawn to people who exhibit qualities similar to Takiishi. Accelerator is already a god, to some extent — but him having have similar tastes in food to Takiishi is, to Endo, further proof that he's absolutely worth pursuing.
Looking a little too delighted — especially after that comment about the lamb burger — Endo says: ]
I know just what you should order.
[ And he can say that with confidence, because of his decade of experience.
He spins his own menu around so that Accelerator can read it, and then points to a specific dish: the filet of beef. Essentially, an extremely well-cooked and fancy steak, though the waiter would probably blanch if Endo labeled it that way. ]
I'm gonna get the quail. You can try it.
[ This is also how he usually does things with Takiishi — he buys him the tried and true dish, or at least as close to it as possible, and then gets something different for himself so he can try it. If he likes it — that's one more dish on the long mental list that Endo keeps for him.
It's clear that he's a little more overtly invested now — a bright quality to his eyes, though once he loses the fondness that was taking over his smile, it probably comes across as too self-assured. ]
So, as Accelerator struggles, Endo smiles — and it's a smile that's a little too soft about a conversation about food. He doesn't make any effort to suppress it, because why should he? Anything that reminds him of Takiishi is going to get at least a hint of fondness from him. And there's more to it, too. He's always been drawn to people who exhibit qualities similar to Takiishi. Accelerator is already a god, to some extent — but him having have similar tastes in food to Takiishi is, to Endo, further proof that he's absolutely worth pursuing.
Looking a little too delighted — especially after that comment about the lamb burger — Endo says: ]
I know just what you should order.
[ And he can say that with confidence, because of his decade of experience.
He spins his own menu around so that Accelerator can read it, and then points to a specific dish: the filet of beef. Essentially, an extremely well-cooked and fancy steak, though the waiter would probably blanch if Endo labeled it that way. ]
I'm gonna get the quail. You can try it.
[ This is also how he usually does things with Takiishi — he buys him the tried and true dish, or at least as close to it as possible, and then gets something different for himself so he can try it. If he likes it — that's one more dish on the long mental list that Endo keeps for him.
It's clear that he's a little more overtly invested now — a bright quality to his eyes, though once he loses the fondness that was taking over his smile, it probably comes across as too self-assured. ]
[He could refuse, withhold the loss to wring more begging from Endo. But Umemiya is an indulgent Dominant. Endo gets his kiss, deep and warm, the sort of kiss that feels a little like someone trying to drink your soul.]
[He leans over, staring down at the part of the menu that Endo is indicating. Filet of beef? That sounds relatively normal, just expensive, and while he has no idea what 'mushroom essence' is supposed to be he does at least know mushrooms go with red meat. It doesn't seem like it's supposed to be a joke of a choice, so he's going to trust Endo on this one. Setting his menu down, he gives a small nod of assent, quickly glancing around for the waiter before turning his attention back to Endo.]
... Fine.
[To both of those things, though that word comes out a bit awkwardly. He isn't used to sharing food, and he definitely isn't used to it being a method of trying something new. It seems more... personal than it should be. Maybe it's because they're in a fancy restaurant and not somewhere cheap, maybe it's because the ambience is so private. Maybe it's because the look on Endo's face is so warm for something that's as basic as lunch.
Accelerator shifts, unsure of what to think about that. Does he have some kind of sentimentality attached to having meals with other people or sharing food, or something? Now that he's thinking about it, Last Order brought that up with him before. The first meal they had together and the first time she ever ate a hot meal — even though it was shitty, reheated garbage she had been happy to have it, since sharing a meal made the food taste better.
Sentimentality at its finest, though he can't deny he preferred eating with her, Yomikawa and Yoshikawa rather than all the times he ate alone at a restaurant or in his dorm. As sappy as it is, he knows there's something to her logic. He's guessing Endo would agree.
His tone is dry when he speaks up again.]
If it's terrible, I'm blaming you.
... Fine.
[To both of those things, though that word comes out a bit awkwardly. He isn't used to sharing food, and he definitely isn't used to it being a method of trying something new. It seems more... personal than it should be. Maybe it's because they're in a fancy restaurant and not somewhere cheap, maybe it's because the ambience is so private. Maybe it's because the look on Endo's face is so warm for something that's as basic as lunch.
Accelerator shifts, unsure of what to think about that. Does he have some kind of sentimentality attached to having meals with other people or sharing food, or something? Now that he's thinking about it, Last Order brought that up with him before. The first meal they had together and the first time she ever ate a hot meal — even though it was shitty, reheated garbage she had been happy to have it, since sharing a meal made the food taste better.
Sentimentality at its finest, though he can't deny he preferred eating with her, Yomikawa and Yoshikawa rather than all the times he ate alone at a restaurant or in his dorm. As sappy as it is, he knows there's something to her logic. He's guessing Endo would agree.
His tone is dry when he speaks up again.]
If it's terrible, I'm blaming you.
[ Affection is truly what Endo wanted from all of this — to the point that the deep kiss is almost enough to push him over the edge. But he wants to savor this for a little longer, and thus he slows his hips to focus on kissing back — and then, before Umemiya can pull back or otherwise break the kiss, he resumes rubbing himself against him, heightening back to a quickened rhythm, until he's on the cusp again. ]
[As he feels Endo adjust his pace, Umemiya smiles into the kiss, pulling back just enough to purr out:] Good boy, Endo.
[ That pushes him overboard — simple praise that he once might've scorned, now spreading pleasure throughout his body. He gasps, and the next roll of his hips sends him over the edge. Endo jerks against Umemiya's hold, cries out, and comes hard, his mind going blank.
In the immediate aftermath, he shivers with the aftershock and opens his eyes to meet Umemiya's with his own, his face flush, his heart still beating quickly, but a hint of triumph in his gaze.
As predicted, he's now a mess, but that doesn't stop him from asking: ]
How was that?
In the immediate aftermath, he shivers with the aftershock and opens his eyes to meet Umemiya's with his own, his face flush, his heart still beating quickly, but a hint of triumph in his gaze.
As predicted, he's now a mess, but that doesn't stop him from asking: ]
How was that?
Beautiful. You look so beautiful when you're coming apart.
[Umemiya meets Endo's eyes, moving his leg so he's straddling Endo instead, letting go of his wrists.]
Let me know when you want me to let you up to clean yourself up. But don't feel you need to rush about it.
[Umemiya meets Endo's eyes, moving his leg so he's straddling Endo instead, letting go of his wrists.]
Let me know when you want me to let you up to clean yourself up. But don't feel you need to rush about it.
[ Though his wrists are now freed, Endo's muscles feel lazy with the aftermath of pleasure — his limbs languid and unresponsive. He does need to clean up, but the effort seems too much, the distance it would put between himself and Umemiya not worth it. So he simply does not move, preferring his current position above all else. ]
I always thought I would fuck you.
[ His voice is a murmur, as lazy as the rest of him. His eyes are half-lidded. He feels the power of Umemiya's dominance, but his submissive headspace is a little different this time — more playful than fully submerged.
The words he speaks are true, despite the upturn of his lips. Back under the mistletoe, back before all of this — hell, even at the beginning of this, after that first session. Truthfully, there was only one person that Endo would imagine topping him — the only person who'd outright reject him. ]
I bet you always assumed you'd fuck me.
[ He raises himself up on his elbows. ]
Hmm?
I always thought I would fuck you.
[ His voice is a murmur, as lazy as the rest of him. His eyes are half-lidded. He feels the power of Umemiya's dominance, but his submissive headspace is a little different this time — more playful than fully submerged.
The words he speaks are true, despite the upturn of his lips. Back under the mistletoe, back before all of this — hell, even at the beginning of this, after that first session. Truthfully, there was only one person that Endo would imagine topping him — the only person who'd outright reject him. ]
I bet you always assumed you'd fuck me.
[ He raises himself up on his elbows. ]
Hmm?
Have I been wrong yet?
[ This could be a bit of a loaded question, if they were to take their entire limited history in context. Technically, Endo wasn't wrong about a lot of things — his decision to involve Accelerator in the gang fight, and then his decision to push him to the brink, were both good gambles. His thoughts about the collar were mostly correct, as were his ideas about its limitations. Endo didn't believe he would escape being harmed by the wings, so in a roundabout way, he was right about that, too. Throughout most of their first day together Endo made a lot of inferences and assumptions that proved to be correct — and if they really look at what that means, the end result is that Accelerator suffered for it.
But Endo hadn't exactly predicted how all of it would play out, and there were a few things he got wrong along the way. He certainly hadn't expected Accelerator to transform into a god, nor did he expect that he would fall for him as a result. Endo's wrong plenty; he just happens to be right when it counts.
And while, arguably, a fancy dinner doesn't matter as much as, say, getting to see those wings again, it's important when it comes to continuing toward his goal. So that fine that Accelerator utters? Both accurately predicted and another sign of progress. That threat? Easily expected, and also proof of gaining ground. It's dry, it's playful, it's as much a promise as it is banter.
Just like Endo's subsequent question, because there's so much more to come, and he doesn't intend to be wrong about anything that matters.
And this — the new space taking shape between them — is what matters to him. ]
Don't worry. You'll love it. And you'll love dessert even more.
[ The waitress comes at that moment. Endo takes care of the entire order and throws in an oyster appetizer — though that's for his own selfish fun. Then he hands the menus over with a smile, which leads to a short flirtatious conversation about his "poor arm."
When that's done, he turns to Accelerator again, and asks: ]
Whaddya think?
[ He inclines his head toward the waitress as she walks away. ]
[ This could be a bit of a loaded question, if they were to take their entire limited history in context. Technically, Endo wasn't wrong about a lot of things — his decision to involve Accelerator in the gang fight, and then his decision to push him to the brink, were both good gambles. His thoughts about the collar were mostly correct, as were his ideas about its limitations. Endo didn't believe he would escape being harmed by the wings, so in a roundabout way, he was right about that, too. Throughout most of their first day together Endo made a lot of inferences and assumptions that proved to be correct — and if they really look at what that means, the end result is that Accelerator suffered for it.
But Endo hadn't exactly predicted how all of it would play out, and there were a few things he got wrong along the way. He certainly hadn't expected Accelerator to transform into a god, nor did he expect that he would fall for him as a result. Endo's wrong plenty; he just happens to be right when it counts.
And while, arguably, a fancy dinner doesn't matter as much as, say, getting to see those wings again, it's important when it comes to continuing toward his goal. So that fine that Accelerator utters? Both accurately predicted and another sign of progress. That threat? Easily expected, and also proof of gaining ground. It's dry, it's playful, it's as much a promise as it is banter.
Just like Endo's subsequent question, because there's so much more to come, and he doesn't intend to be wrong about anything that matters.
And this — the new space taking shape between them — is what matters to him. ]
Don't worry. You'll love it. And you'll love dessert even more.
[ The waitress comes at that moment. Endo takes care of the entire order and throws in an oyster appetizer — though that's for his own selfish fun. Then he hands the menus over with a smile, which leads to a short flirtatious conversation about his "poor arm."
When that's done, he turns to Accelerator again, and asks: ]
Whaddya think?
[ He inclines his head toward the waitress as she walks away. ]
I always thought you'd loathe me forever. That we would tear each other apart before sex ever entered the picture.
[There's a soft, startled little laugh after a second.] Of course, I also thought you were a Dominant. You put on such a good show of it. No one else gets to know this sweet pet beside me.
[There's a soft, startled little laugh after a second.] Of course, I also thought you were a Dominant. You put on such a good show of it. No one else gets to know this sweet pet beside me.
[It's definitely a loaded question, one that makes Accelerator frown and click his tongue. No, Endo hasn't been wrong about very much, which is honestly impressive given how short of a time they've known each other, it's just a combination of his skeptical nature and surly personality that makes him want to be a little combative. At least this is only lunch. It isn't actually a big deal whether it's good or bad. Logically speaking, it has a better chance of being good, since an upscale restaurant such as this isn't going to get away with serving people garbage for absurd prices.
Liking dessert seems harder to believe, since he isn't really a sweets kind of person, but he'll try it.
So he's quiet, handing his menu over, giving their surroundings another scan as Endo chats with the waitress. They seem to be getting along, though the mention of the arm sends a pang of guilt through him, making him curl his lips and awkwardly try to keep his attention on anything else. His focus only snaps back to Endo when the waitress leaves.]
About -?
[It takes him a second to clue in as to what - who - Endo is talking about about. When it clicks in his brain he blinks a few times, turning and glancing at the back of the waitress quickly, then back at Endo, at a total loss. Is this normal conversation for boys his age?? Not once has he ever felt any kind of attraction towards girls. Those kinds of feelings have always felt beyond him, and he's never had any motivation to reach for them. Girls are just girls, that's it.
So how is he supposed to respond to this? Well, it's Endo asking him, and thanks to their (horrifyingly embarrassing) conversation the other day he's got an idea of what his preferences are....
He sighs, reaching up to rub his temples.]
I don't think waitresses make that much money.
[A generic comment about her attractiveness based on popular societal beauty standards would be a bit much, so he decides to focus on the part of Endo's dating habits that would likely cause problems. That seems a lot more reasonable, in his mind.]
Liking dessert seems harder to believe, since he isn't really a sweets kind of person, but he'll try it.
So he's quiet, handing his menu over, giving their surroundings another scan as Endo chats with the waitress. They seem to be getting along, though the mention of the arm sends a pang of guilt through him, making him curl his lips and awkwardly try to keep his attention on anything else. His focus only snaps back to Endo when the waitress leaves.]
About -?
[It takes him a second to clue in as to what - who - Endo is talking about about. When it clicks in his brain he blinks a few times, turning and glancing at the back of the waitress quickly, then back at Endo, at a total loss. Is this normal conversation for boys his age?? Not once has he ever felt any kind of attraction towards girls. Those kinds of feelings have always felt beyond him, and he's never had any motivation to reach for them. Girls are just girls, that's it.
So how is he supposed to respond to this? Well, it's Endo asking him, and thanks to their (horrifyingly embarrassing) conversation the other day he's got an idea of what his preferences are....
He sighs, reaching up to rub his temples.]
I don't think waitresses make that much money.
[A generic comment about her attractiveness based on popular societal beauty standards would be a bit much, so he decides to focus on the part of Endo's dating habits that would likely cause problems. That seems a lot more reasonable, in his mind.]
[ Tearing each other apart did seem inevitable; Endo wanted to, many times. Even more recently, he had considered it, though the feelings that fueled those impulses had shifted into something more personal — more self-defiant. He's never wanted to be vulnerable. He's never wanted to want anyone other than Takiishi.
But after the mistletoe, dominance over Umemiya seemed synonymous with sex. Endo thought about making him cry. He thought about breaking him, and wondered how much harder it would be than breaking Sakura. He considering bringing him home as a prize, tied up pretty for Takiishi.
And he might've. He wants to believe he could've. Endo is excellent at putting on shows and filling the roles required of him. He is not, however, a dominant. If it had gone a more violent way — who's to say that Umemiya wouldn't have looked him in the eye and ordered him to stop? Who's to say that Endo, desperate and lonely, would not have listened?
Those thoughts don't matter now. And Umemiya is right: no one else will ever get to know him like this — nor in all the other ways that Umemiya will come to know him.
In agreement: ]
No one gets to touch me like you do.
[ Which brings him to his original point: ]
You could fuck me, y'know.
[ Not a demand, not even a request. He states it as a fact. ]
But after the mistletoe, dominance over Umemiya seemed synonymous with sex. Endo thought about making him cry. He thought about breaking him, and wondered how much harder it would be than breaking Sakura. He considering bringing him home as a prize, tied up pretty for Takiishi.
And he might've. He wants to believe he could've. Endo is excellent at putting on shows and filling the roles required of him. He is not, however, a dominant. If it had gone a more violent way — who's to say that Umemiya wouldn't have looked him in the eye and ordered him to stop? Who's to say that Endo, desperate and lonely, would not have listened?
Those thoughts don't matter now. And Umemiya is right: no one else will ever get to know him like this — nor in all the other ways that Umemiya will come to know him.
In agreement: ]
No one gets to touch me like you do.
[ Which brings him to his original point: ]
You could fuck me, y'know.
[ Not a demand, not even a request. He states it as a fact. ]
I could. I plan to, at some point. But I'm cautious about doing it here.
[Where Takiishi lives, where he might walk in at some point. That feels...like a significantly bigger risk than he's willing to accept. There's a lot about what's going on between Endo and Takiishi that Umemiya doesn't understand, and he doesn't know how to ask.
So he doesn't, and exercises what feels like a reasonable amount of caution.
He's half-scared even saying that much is pressing a finger against a bruise.]
[Where Takiishi lives, where he might walk in at some point. That feels...like a significantly bigger risk than he's willing to accept. There's a lot about what's going on between Endo and Takiishi that Umemiya doesn't understand, and he doesn't know how to ask.
So he doesn't, and exercises what feels like a reasonable amount of caution.
He's half-scared even saying that much is pressing a finger against a bruise.]
[ This reminder of their reality is necessary. Endo's caught up in the moment, in his own semi-confession, so he isn't thinking about much else. That's the point of these sessions — or part of the point. It's not that he doesn't want to think about Takiishi — he still reveres him, still devotes himself to him. Rather, tonight was about a break. A temporary seclusion from everything else — a means of preventing himself from thinking about the rest. But Umemiya is right in his implication. Endo would be devastated to have Takiishi come home to this, no matter how little Takiishi would care. It would feel like a double betrayal — because Takiishi likes Umemiya.
Logically, Umemiya enforcing boundaries is a good thing. So there's nothing logical in the way those words sting. Especially because, as Endo finally looks away from Umemiya, studying the ceiling instead of his face, he can't decide what bothers him most. If it's the fact that Umemiya is holding back, at a time when Endo needs — something; if it's the reminder that Takiishi wouldn't do this for him, regardless of whether he walked in on it or not. Or maybe Endo feels somewhat exposed for having said it at all. He's fucked plenty of women; he's gotten kinky in all sorts of ways. But this is different — personal. It's something he's always wanted from someone else.
Abruptly: ]
I wanna clean up.
[ His pants are cold and wet, something that didn't matter before but now stands out as too uncomfortable. ]
Logically, Umemiya enforcing boundaries is a good thing. So there's nothing logical in the way those words sting. Especially because, as Endo finally looks away from Umemiya, studying the ceiling instead of his face, he can't decide what bothers him most. If it's the fact that Umemiya is holding back, at a time when Endo needs — something; if it's the reminder that Takiishi wouldn't do this for him, regardless of whether he walked in on it or not. Or maybe Endo feels somewhat exposed for having said it at all. He's fucked plenty of women; he's gotten kinky in all sorts of ways. But this is different — personal. It's something he's always wanted from someone else.
Abruptly: ]
I wanna clean up.
[ His pants are cold and wet, something that didn't matter before but now stands out as too uncomfortable. ]
[ Truthfully, Endo isn't expecting Accelerator to take the time to analyze her, whether in terms of her appearance or otherwise. The question itself isn't all that serious; Endo has no intention of cutting his outing with Accelerator short, nor is he interested in picking up a new fling. He's got enough credit cards for the time being, and he's got plenty of other things (people) on his plate right now. He only asks out of amusement — and maybe to fluster Accelerator again.
But since Endo is fallible, he ends up proven wrong in this, too. Accelerator seems to take the question seriously, even if doing so seems to threaten a budding headache. How fun! Especially because his answer is both astute and very him.
Endo laughs. Unlike at the hospital, he keeps the sound contained, though it's still a little loud and a little too mirthful. ]
You think that's all I want?
[ Women have other features, buddy. He happens to enjoy those other features from time to time. It's not all about the cash, but that does help sweeten the pot — and in many cases, it is the main motivating factor. But he has fun, too — even if his heart will never be captured by a woman.
Without giving Accelerator space to answer, he rests his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand — cast and all — and says: ]
Nah, you're right. I like 'em rich.
[ The smile on his face is a little pointed — but that could mean anything. If he pulls out his new iPhone and sets it on the table, off to the side, that doesn't imply anything at all, does it? ]
But since Endo is fallible, he ends up proven wrong in this, too. Accelerator seems to take the question seriously, even if doing so seems to threaten a budding headache. How fun! Especially because his answer is both astute and very him.
Endo laughs. Unlike at the hospital, he keeps the sound contained, though it's still a little loud and a little too mirthful. ]
You think that's all I want?
[ Women have other features, buddy. He happens to enjoy those other features from time to time. It's not all about the cash, but that does help sweeten the pot — and in many cases, it is the main motivating factor. But he has fun, too — even if his heart will never be captured by a woman.
Without giving Accelerator space to answer, he rests his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand — cast and all — and says: ]
Nah, you're right. I like 'em rich.
[ The smile on his face is a little pointed — but that could mean anything. If he pulls out his new iPhone and sets it on the table, off to the side, that doesn't imply anything at all, does it? ]
Sure.
[Umemiya feels that shift in energy, saying nothing more as he rolls off Endo and lets him get up. Was he wrong to have said it? No, he doesn't think so, but it still broke something between them.
Takiishi is always going to be the ghost that haunts whatever relationship he and Endo have, just as much as he haunts the memory of many third-year Furin students. But here, he doesn't know what to do with that fact, like he does at school.]
[Umemiya feels that shift in energy, saying nothing more as he rolls off Endo and lets him get up. Was he wrong to have said it? No, he doesn't think so, but it still broke something between them.
Takiishi is always going to be the ghost that haunts whatever relationship he and Endo have, just as much as he haunts the memory of many third-year Furin students. But here, he doesn't know what to do with that fact, like he does at school.]
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