[ From food, from company, from business. Every audience requires their own setting — and their own approach. In the end, it's less about the food and more about the impression — or creating a little discomfort, depending on his angle. Though, if he were to get too into the topic, he'd admit that he, too, eats a lot of fast food. It's what Takiishi prefers.
He gives the host his name. She confirms their reservation, then leads them to a booth in the back, even more private than all the others. It's the only seat completely hidden from the door, which gives the sense that aside from the comings and goings of a waiter, they'll be completely alone.
Sliding into the u-shaped booth, Endo says: ]
Don't worry, this place is good.
[ According to critics and those with sensitive palates, though the menus the host hands to them might suggest otherwise to someone unaccustomed to eating in such places — especially because the listed meals are a mix of American and French, rather than the high-end cuisine associated with Japan. But Accelerator can worry about that once he's nice and cozy in their shared booth.
[It's a perfectly normal, fancy restaurant, but as they follow the host further inside Accelerator starts to feel a mild, stifling feeling. It isn't as if the place is outright suffocating him, but the walls feel too close and he's getting the distinct sensation of standing out rather than blending in. He chalks it up to his own tastes not being anything close to this. If they were back in Academy City he wouldn't be caught dead in a restaurant this upscale. It's only a restaurant, though. He can tolerate it, especially since Endo appears perfectly comfortable.
.... Still. When they reach their booth, Accelerator squints and looks around, appraising their surroundings. The sheer amount of privacy they have doesn't escape his notice.]
...........
[He stares down at the spot Endo patted, his gaze so intense it's almost boring a hole into the seat. Then he moves to slide into the booth across from Endo, going through the whole process of retracting his crutch, then removing the arm cuff and setting is down next to himself so he can give his arm a break.
After taking the menu that's handed to him, he skims it over, and as he does his expression gradually drops. Parmesan lavash? Romesco glazed orzo? He doesn't know what half of this stuff is.]
[ The worst of Endo's pain may be in the past, and he may no longer be on medication that lowers his inhibitions and affects his finesse, but that doesn't stop him from enjoying the way Accelerator reacts to the slightest provocations. Endo pokes, prods, and even pushes at times — because those are a few of the many tools at his disposal, and he uses them to shape a desired result. If he erodes Accelerator's defenses, if he offers all the gestures Accelerator finds disagreeable or embarrassing, and if he keeps paving the way for future conversation, then one day Accelerator will wake up and think of them as friends. He may not even want to kill him anymore, though Endo takes no issue with the potential for the sentiment to remain.
But whereas Accelerator glares at the seat and then defies Endo's suggestion, Endo himself remains completely calm and in control. Only the slightest smile touches his lips — a far cry from his near-uncontrollable laughter at the hospital — though this is subject to change. He does shrug, though, a lazy suit yourself roll of his shoulders as he opens his own menu. ]
I picked right when I reserved these seats, huh?
[ Given the commentary. Accelerator is free to criticize as much as his heart desires, because no one's going to give him dirty looks over it — since they're all alone.
He glances up from his menu to say: ]
Just watch what you say in front of the waiter. They might throw you out of here.
[ He's kidding! They wouldn't, even if Accelerator were outright rude.
[It may be an overly charitable read of the situation, but Accelerator is chalking his discomfort up entirely to his own personal baggage and not something calculated by Endo. It would be hard to argue that, given the guy doesn't even know what his food preferences are, and the fact that he made a concentrated effort to reserve a table that would be quiet is downright conscientious of him.
He slouches a little in his seat at the pestering, scowling over his menu.]
Tche, I can be civil.
[He'll behave! Even if Endo is only teasing him he wouldn't put it past such an upscale restaurant to be willing to kick customers out if they ruin the atmosphere of the place. It's much easier to just have a quiet meal than to be a nuisance and start trouble for no real reason, so he can reign himself in to an extent. His behaviour? Sure. The swearing is a little harder to tamp down on, thanks to it being more of a verbal tic, though he can at least try.
He turns his eyes back to the menu, rereading it again closely.]
What's good here? Do they have any coffee?
[Coffee will definitely help his mood out. And he figures that if he doesn't know what half of the options on the menu are it'd be a lot easier to simply get Endo's opinion. That way he won't be floundering like he is right now.]
[ Endo, having long since decided what to order, sets his menu down and sits back in the booth with a slight quirk of his lips.
When he thinks of Accelerator's outburst in the hospital, he treats it like a fond memory — a gift of insight that slipped through the limitations he faced at the time. Endo has mapped another of his boundaries and now has a sense of how much pressure it will endure.
At the time, he'd been messing around and enjoying their interaction mostly on a surface level, but he's since poured over their conversation a few times. There are thresholds to Accelerator's reactions, and Endo is keeping tabs on all of them, even this one — this shift from criticism to compliance.
This is natural for him — as natural as drawing Accelerator into the gang fight was at the beginning of all of this. But Endo doesn't always do it quite as consciously as it may seem. He was speaking the truth when he told Accelerator that he fell for him — that godlike side of himself, whose memory he revisits each night before bed. That means he harbors a desire to pull him closer, to keep himself entrenched in his life, to remain a permanent factor in Accelerator's mind. It also means that Endo has both a conscious and subconscious need to set a stage and shape the narrative toward his goals.
In short, Endo doesn't want to let him go. And he'll make sure he doesn't have to.
Sometimes that means testing temperament, and sometimes it means ordering coffee. ]
'Course they do. It's usually for dessert, but we'll order it early.
[ The key to restaurants like this: they just want their well-paying customers to leave happy. If a guy with a foul mouth asks for a coffee before food, they aren't going to give him weird looks. ]
What's good really depends on the kind of meat you like. What're your preferences?
[ This, too, is both natural and orchestrated. Endo wants to know what Accelerator enjoys and doesn't enjoy. His interest is in the whole package, even if his focal point is specific. ]
[The prospect of getting to have some coffee causes Accelerator to visibly relax. Chances are it'll be a lot more high quality than the canned crap he usually chugs, but that isn't a big deal. As long as it isn't being loaded down with sugar and cream and god-knows-what he'll happily take it.
What throws him off is Endo asking him about his preferences. Honestly, he was expecting Endo to just give a dish he likes, or call the waiter over so they can rattle off a list of whatever is ordered most often by other customers, not ask what he likes. That isn't something people usually ask him.
But... he supposes it's a normal thing to do, even though nothing about this is normal.
There's a little pause from him as he tries to push that thought to the background of his mind, then realizes he doesn't have much of an answer. The addiction he has to canned coffee only extends that far; when it comes to actual food he has always followed the precept of 'eat whatever makes you happy.' That means it was rare for him to seek out healthy meals. If Yomikawa served a salad as part of dinner then whatever, but it wouldn't be his first choice in a restaurant.]
I don't know, I'm not picky. I'm just more used to eating stuff like fried chicken or tonkatsu.
[In other words, cheap comfort food one can get at family restaurants. He scratches his head, giving this some more thought. Even though he's been out of the country a few times it was always on business, and he never gave much consideration towards the food. One incident in England is sticking out to him though, so he may as well mention it.]
I had a lamb burger, once. It was shitty. [He shrugs, aware the answers he's given around super helpful.]
[ Luckily for Accelerator, Endo's accustomed to tastes like his. That tends to be the diet he and Takiishi indulge in at home, as Takiishi's palate is, it seems, similar to Accelerator's. Cheap comfort foods, fast food, American-style burgers — and bubble tea. That's what he's really into now.
So, as Accelerator struggles, Endo smiles — and it's a smile that's a little too soft about a conversation about food. He doesn't make any effort to suppress it, because why should he? Anything that reminds him of Takiishi is going to get at least a hint of fondness from him. And there's more to it, too. He's always been drawn to people who exhibit qualities similar to Takiishi. Accelerator is already a god, to some extent — but him having have similar tastes in food to Takiishi is, to Endo, further proof that he's absolutely worth pursuing.
Looking a little too delighted — especially after that comment about the lamb burger — Endo says: ]
I know just what you should order.
[ And he can say that with confidence, because of his decade of experience.
He spins his own menu around so that Accelerator can read it, and then points to a specific dish: the filet of beef. Essentially, an extremely well-cooked and fancy steak, though the waiter would probably blanch if Endo labeled it that way. ]
I'm gonna get the quail. You can try it.
[ This is also how he usually does things with Takiishi — he buys him the tried and true dish, or at least as close to it as possible, and then gets something different for himself so he can try it. If he likes it — that's one more dish on the long mental list that Endo keeps for him.
It's clear that he's a little more overtly invested now — a bright quality to his eyes, though once he loses the fondness that was taking over his smile, it probably comes across as too self-assured. ]
[He leans over, staring down at the part of the menu that Endo is indicating. Filet of beef? That sounds relatively normal, just expensive, and while he has no idea what 'mushroom essence' is supposed to be he does at least know mushrooms go with red meat. It doesn't seem like it's supposed to be a joke of a choice, so he's going to trust Endo on this one. Setting his menu down, he gives a small nod of assent, quickly glancing around for the waiter before turning his attention back to Endo.]
... Fine.
[To both of those things, though that word comes out a bit awkwardly. He isn't used to sharing food, and he definitely isn't used to it being a method of trying something new. It seems more... personal than it should be. Maybe it's because they're in a fancy restaurant and not somewhere cheap, maybe it's because the ambience is so private. Maybe it's because the look on Endo's face is so warm for something that's as basic as lunch.
Accelerator shifts, unsure of what to think about that. Does he have some kind of sentimentality attached to having meals with other people or sharing food, or something? Now that he's thinking about it, Last Order brought that up with him before. The first meal they had together and the first time she ever ate a hot meal — even though it was shitty, reheated garbage she had been happy to have it, since sharing a meal made the food taste better.
Sentimentality at its finest, though he can't deny he preferred eating with her, Yomikawa and Yoshikawa rather than all the times he ate alone at a restaurant or in his dorm. As sappy as it is, he knows there's something to her logic. He's guessing Endo would agree.
[ This could be a bit of a loaded question, if they were to take their entire limited history in context. Technically, Endo wasn't wrong about a lot of things — his decision to involve Accelerator in the gang fight, and then his decision to push him to the brink, were both good gambles. His thoughts about the collar were mostly correct, as were his ideas about its limitations. Endo didn't believe he would escape being harmed by the wings, so in a roundabout way, he was right about that, too. Throughout most of their first day together Endo made a lot of inferences and assumptions that proved to be correct — and if they really look at what that means, the end result is that Accelerator suffered for it.
But Endo hadn't exactly predicted how all of it would play out, and there were a few things he got wrong along the way. He certainly hadn't expected Accelerator to transform into a god, nor did he expect that he would fall for him as a result. Endo's wrong plenty; he just happens to be right when it counts.
And while, arguably, a fancy dinner doesn't matter as much as, say, getting to see those wings again, it's important when it comes to continuing toward his goal. So that fine that Accelerator utters? Both accurately predicted and another sign of progress. That threat? Easily expected, and also proof of gaining ground. It's dry, it's playful, it's as much a promise as it is banter.
Just like Endo's subsequent question, because there's so much more to come, and he doesn't intend to be wrong about anything that matters.
And this — the new space taking shape between them — is what matters to him. ]
Don't worry. You'll love it. And you'll love dessert even more.
[ The waitress comes at that moment. Endo takes care of the entire order and throws in an oyster appetizer — though that's for his own selfish fun. Then he hands the menus over with a smile, which leads to a short flirtatious conversation about his "poor arm."
When that's done, he turns to Accelerator again, and asks: ]
Whaddya think?
[ He inclines his head toward the waitress as she walks away. ]
[It's definitely a loaded question, one that makes Accelerator frown and click his tongue. No, Endo hasn't been wrong about very much, which is honestly impressive given how short of a time they've known each other, it's just a combination of his skeptical nature and surly personality that makes him want to be a little combative. At least this is only lunch. It isn't actually a big deal whether it's good or bad. Logically speaking, it has a better chance of being good, since an upscale restaurant such as this isn't going to get away with serving people garbage for absurd prices.
Liking dessert seems harder to believe, since he isn't really a sweets kind of person, but he'll try it.
So he's quiet, handing his menu over, giving their surroundings another scan as Endo chats with the waitress. They seem to be getting along, though the mention of the arm sends a pang of guilt through him, making him curl his lips and awkwardly try to keep his attention on anything else. His focus only snaps back to Endo when the waitress leaves.]
About -?
[It takes him a second to clue in as to what - who - Endo is talking about about. When it clicks in his brain he blinks a few times, turning and glancing at the back of the waitress quickly, then back at Endo, at a total loss. Is this normal conversation for boys his age?? Not once has he ever felt any kind of attraction towards girls. Those kinds of feelings have always felt beyond him, and he's never had any motivation to reach for them. Girls are just girls, that's it.
So how is he supposed to respond to this? Well, it's Endo asking him, and thanks to their (horrifyingly embarrassing) conversation the other day he's got an idea of what his preferences are....
He sighs, reaching up to rub his temples.]
I don't think waitresses make that much money.
[A generic comment about her attractiveness based on popular societal beauty standards would be a bit much, so he decides to focus on the part of Endo's dating habits that would likely cause problems. That seems a lot more reasonable, in his mind.]
[ Truthfully, Endo isn't expecting Accelerator to take the time to analyze her, whether in terms of her appearance or otherwise. The question itself isn't all that serious; Endo has no intention of cutting his outing with Accelerator short, nor is he interested in picking up a new fling. He's got enough credit cards for the time being, and he's got plenty of other things (people) on his plate right now. He only asks out of amusement — and maybe to fluster Accelerator again.
But since Endo is fallible, he ends up proven wrong in this, too. Accelerator seems to take the question seriously, even if doing so seems to threaten a budding headache. How fun! Especially because his answer is both astute and very him.
Endo laughs. Unlike at the hospital, he keeps the sound contained, though it's still a little loud and a little too mirthful. ]
You think that's all I want?
[ Women have other features, buddy. He happens to enjoy those other features from time to time. It's not all about the cash, but that does help sweeten the pot — and in many cases, it is the main motivating factor. But he has fun, too — even if his heart will never be captured by a woman.
Without giving Accelerator space to answer, he rests his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand — cast and all — and says: ]
Nah, you're right. I like 'em rich.
[ The smile on his face is a little pointed — but that could mean anything. If he pulls out his new iPhone and sets it on the table, off to the side, that doesn't imply anything at all, does it? ]
[With a reaction like that, Accelerator is kind of wishing he had kept his mouth shut. Endo laughs, in a more controlled manner in the hospital but it nonetheless reminds him of that, and it wouldn't be too bad if he wasn't following it up with that comment and that look, and his phone. Even an idiot could put two and two together, and Accelerator drops his hand so he can curl his nails into his palm.]
[It's more teasing. That's all it is. It's not as if he regrets buying the new phone (it isn't a big deal, really), he just should have chosen his words more carefully given that he went for the most expensive model. At least it isn't as overt as I've just fallen for you which, even though it was a text, is still stuck in the back of his mind like an irritating fly buzzing around. Obviously, obviously this is just a continuation of that. Endo is the type of jerk that likes to tease people, something that is especially aggravating when he's so good at reading them, too. He's probably doing it because dismissing a text is easy enough, and doing the same in person is a bit harder. Especially when he's getting stared at.
Especially when he's noticing that Endo's eyes are very striking.
Why that realization is hitting him right now is beyond him but it's there, settling in next to the memory of reading that text. Accelerator fidgets in his seat, glaring with an overly harsh expression back at Endo. That only lasts a few seconds before he's glancing away, antsy for the waitress to return with his coffee so he has something else to focus on. Casual conversation isn't his forte, but he tries his best in coming up with a topic that will steer things away from Endo looking at him like that.]
[ As always, Endo gets plenty of enjoyment out of watching Accelerator process his words. He's patient as he does so, continuing to exhibit bad manners with his elbow on the table, smiling without saying anything more. He doesn't want to push too hard, especially now that he has a better idea of Accelerator's thresholds. No need for him to go storming away this time. Plus, he likes Accelerator's glares almost as much as he likes making him flush. That's one of the consequences of falling for a person (or a person's god-side) — everything they do is suddenly interesting, worth observing and digging into.
But Accelerator changes the subject and Endo finally shifts, dropping his arm on the table with a loud thunk. ]
Itchy. Annoying.
[ He says this dismissively, like it isn't a big deal, but the itching is what really gets on Endo's nerves. If his arm weren't so important for fighting, he'd probably have gotten someone to take the cast off by now, the rest of his healing be damned.
(Though, technically, that is the plan — just with a little help in the form of a something not quite legal.)
He could say more, maybe even generously elaborate, but unfortunately for Accelerator, he doesn't feel like talking about his arm, nor does he feel like letting the previous subject go entirely. Without missing a beat, he transitions again. ]
You don't like women, do you?
[ Just something he's been mulling over now that he's seen Accelerator judge their waitress based on her assets (money) rather than her assets (body). In contrast, a small insinuation from Endo always elicits a nice reaction, in one form or another.
He remembers Accelerator looking at his hands — a fond memory. ]
[He would have loved to stay on the topic of broken arms, and not simply because it offers more chances for self-flagellation. Human anatomy is a breeze for Accelerator, he can run through all the gory details that occur when a person breaks their arm, the different kinds of bone fractures, typical medical aid in such cases, and the biology behind the healing process. It's all just science, and science is easy.
What isn't easy is that damn question. His glare deepens as Endo smoothly shifts the conversation backwards, and he has to work to come with an answer that isn't going to result in more teasing.]
.... I don't like most people.
[Which is technically true. Most people are annoying, aggravating, and he dislikes them in any kind of platonic sense. Of course, he's guessing Endo doesn't just mean platonic, though in the romantic sense it's the same. He's read plenty of novels and manga over the years that happened to include some romantic subplot or another (since he's never had friends to discuss dating and such that kind of situation isn't occurring to him), and he can safely say he never felt like what he read towards another person. Has he had complicated feelings towards another person that weren't easily categorized? Yes, he supposes, once. But that's —
That's something else. He's sure of it. And Endo is... barely tolerable? Or something else as well. He isn't really sure.
So what's left is his answer. It should be simple, but his ears are turning red and he has to fight the urge to fidget again. To compensate for his growing embarrassment, his expression turns combative.]
[ A little too elated for the nature of the conversation, Endo's face lights up, openly charmed by Accelerator's embarrassment and subsequent answer. By now, his reaction is nothing new, though he anticipates that it'll add fuel to the fire regardless. He's having fun, but not just at Accelerator's expense. Endo's dedicated his life to someone who barely reacts to anything, and certainly doesn't experience embarrassment — so it's kind of funny that his interest's been snagged by someone who's the opposite. More than that, eliciting these reactions is new for him, because he's never really experienced this before — not even with his flings. Since he goes for older women, they tend to be both experienced and mature, and wouldn't blush even if he whispered a bunch of kinky nonsense in their ears.
He likes having this affect on Accelerator. It's addictive, just like his fascination with his wings. Endo's either wholly captivated or entirely disinterested. It's all or nothing, with no middle ground in between. This is no exception. ]
Why would it be?
[ He raises his eyebrows, but his expression turns a shade knowing, almost approaching the arrogance he demonstrated during their first meeting. To him, the question is yet another indicator of how enmeshed he already is within Accelerator's mind.
If Accelerator didn't care about his opinion at all — if he truly only came to the appointment with Endo out of guilt — then why would it matter if it were a problem? What would he care? Why ask at all? Because the opposite is true. He does care.
See, most people would probably take someone who fantasizes about killing them to be a pretty big red flag. Endo isn't most people. He's all about that unfettered, raw emotion being centered around him. He wants to be on Accelerator's mind and he doesn't care what form that takes. Violence is passion; thoughts of murder are, in a roundabout way, a form of attention. When Accelerator confessed to thinking about killing him, he might as well have been offering a form of devotion.
Accelerator isn't neutral about him — some part of him must already factor Endo in as a permanent part of his life. At least, that's how Endo takes it. ]
I don't give a damn about most people, either.
[ This may not seem true, as Endo navigates the social sphere with ease — and he's good at dealing with people when he wants to be. But it's a fact. He only cares about 1.5 people.
Accelerator is the 0.5. ]
But that's not what I mean. You don't gotta like someone to sleep with 'em.
[ Endo would be celibate if that were the case. Before all this went down, he only cared for Takiishi — and Takiishi cares for no one. ]
[With that question Accelerator is anticipating more teasing. He can't say he's getting used to it (he isn't, he wants to either crawl out of his skin or punch Endo in the face every time he needles him) but he thinks he has somewhat of a grasp on how Endo functions by now. Clearly he gets a kick out of doing it, so why stop now?
But no. No smarmy comments about how he's missing out, or why women are great, or whatever. Instead he's agreeing with him, which makes Accelerator stare in utter confusion. This guy, the person who was just casually flirting with their waitress, shares his disdain towards most people? Is he serious? Accelerator would guess this is another round of teasing, but the smile on Endo's face says otherwise. It's the same one he had back in the hospital, during a point when he specifically wasn't making fun of him. He had just been babbling cheerfully about how his love life worked. He's... sort of doing the same thing right now, isn't he?
Accelerator relaxes slightly, feeling his guard drop a little. If he doesn't need to have any immediate worries about being pestered that frees up his mind to wander. Endo's extroverted nature has him curious; why bother putting the effort in when he doesn't like people? Is that just something that comes easily to him, so he does it without thinking? Accelerator can't imagine it, not when people make him so irritated and exhausted most of the time.
But then... Endo is strange to begin with. Most people, after nearly being killed by something as inhuman as his black wings, would be utterly terrified of him. They'd rightfully consider him a monster and avoid him as much as possible. They wouldn't be asking him to come to medical appointments, and then lunch.
It's why he's even here, isn't it. He's sitting here, putting up with being embarrassed and teased and aggravated because the person across him isn't afraid of him. Endo is interested in him, he he wants to spend time with him. Because sometimes, in between all of that bullshit, they can have a normal conversation. All of that makes him feel anxious, but also... kind of warm, in a good way.]
... So that's what you do? Sleep with people even though you don't like them.
[He's trying to wrap his brain around this, so it's a tentative curiosity that motivates him to ask. Partly because his inexperience in this area of life means there are huge gaps in his knowledge, and mostly because this is another chance to learn a bit more about Endo himself.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ From food, from company, from business. Every audience requires their own setting — and their own approach. In the end, it's less about the food and more about the impression — or creating a little discomfort, depending on his angle. Though, if he were to get too into the topic, he'd admit that he, too, eats a lot of fast food. It's what Takiishi prefers.
He gives the host his name. She confirms their reservation, then leads them to a booth in the back, even more private than all the others. It's the only seat completely hidden from the door, which gives the sense that aside from the comings and goings of a waiter, they'll be completely alone.
Sliding into the u-shaped booth, Endo says: ]
Don't worry, this place is good.
[ According to critics and those with sensitive palates, though the menus the host hands to them might suggest otherwise to someone unaccustomed to eating in such places — especially because the listed meals are a mix of American and French, rather than the high-end cuisine associated with Japan. But Accelerator can worry about that once he's nice and cozy in their shared booth.
Endo pats the space beside him. ]
Don't be shy.
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.... Still. When they reach their booth, Accelerator squints and looks around, appraising their surroundings. The sheer amount of privacy they have doesn't escape his notice.]
...........
[He stares down at the spot Endo patted, his gaze so intense it's almost boring a hole into the seat. Then he moves to slide into the booth across from Endo, going through the whole process of retracting his crutch, then removing the arm cuff and setting is down next to himself so he can give his arm a break.
After taking the menu that's handed to him, he skims it over, and as he does his expression gradually drops. Parmesan lavash? Romesco glazed orzo? He doesn't know what half of this stuff is.]
Fuck, this is actually food?
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But whereas Accelerator glares at the seat and then defies Endo's suggestion, Endo himself remains completely calm and in control. Only the slightest smile touches his lips — a far cry from his near-uncontrollable laughter at the hospital — though this is subject to change. He does shrug, though, a lazy suit yourself roll of his shoulders as he opens his own menu. ]
I picked right when I reserved these seats, huh?
[ Given the commentary. Accelerator is free to criticize as much as his heart desires, because no one's going to give him dirty looks over it — since they're all alone.
He glances up from his menu to say: ]
Just watch what you say in front of the waiter. They might throw you out of here.
[ He's kidding! They wouldn't, even if Accelerator were outright rude.
Endo already warned them. ]
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He slouches a little in his seat at the pestering, scowling over his menu.]
Tche, I can be civil.
[He'll behave! Even if Endo is only teasing him he wouldn't put it past such an upscale restaurant to be willing to kick customers out if they ruin the atmosphere of the place. It's much easier to just have a quiet meal than to be a nuisance and start trouble for no real reason, so he can reign himself in to an extent. His behaviour? Sure. The swearing is a little harder to tamp down on, thanks to it being more of a verbal tic, though he can at least try.
He turns his eyes back to the menu, rereading it again closely.]
What's good here? Do they have any coffee?
[Coffee will definitely help his mood out. And he figures that if he doesn't know what half of the options on the menu are it'd be a lot easier to simply get Endo's opinion. That way he won't be floundering like he is right now.]
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When he thinks of Accelerator's outburst in the hospital, he treats it like a fond memory — a gift of insight that slipped through the limitations he faced at the time. Endo has mapped another of his boundaries and now has a sense of how much pressure it will endure.
At the time, he'd been messing around and enjoying their interaction mostly on a surface level, but he's since poured over their conversation a few times. There are thresholds to Accelerator's reactions, and Endo is keeping tabs on all of them, even this one — this shift from criticism to compliance.
This is natural for him — as natural as drawing Accelerator into the gang fight was at the beginning of all of this. But Endo doesn't always do it quite as consciously as it may seem. He was speaking the truth when he told Accelerator that he fell for him — that godlike side of himself, whose memory he revisits each night before bed. That means he harbors a desire to pull him closer, to keep himself entrenched in his life, to remain a permanent factor in Accelerator's mind. It also means that Endo has both a conscious and subconscious need to set a stage and shape the narrative toward his goals.
In short, Endo doesn't want to let him go. And he'll make sure he doesn't have to.
Sometimes that means testing temperament, and sometimes it means ordering coffee. ]
'Course they do. It's usually for dessert, but we'll order it early.
[ The key to restaurants like this: they just want their well-paying customers to leave happy. If a guy with a foul mouth asks for a coffee before food, they aren't going to give him weird looks. ]
What's good really depends on the kind of meat you like. What're your preferences?
[ This, too, is both natural and orchestrated. Endo wants to know what Accelerator enjoys and doesn't enjoy. His interest is in the whole package, even if his focal point is specific. ]
no subject
What throws him off is Endo asking him about his preferences. Honestly, he was expecting Endo to just give a dish he likes, or call the waiter over so they can rattle off a list of whatever is ordered most often by other customers, not ask what he likes. That isn't something people usually ask him.
But... he supposes it's a normal thing to do, even though nothing about this is normal.
There's a little pause from him as he tries to push that thought to the background of his mind, then realizes he doesn't have much of an answer. The addiction he has to canned coffee only extends that far; when it comes to actual food he has always followed the precept of 'eat whatever makes you happy.' That means it was rare for him to seek out healthy meals. If Yomikawa served a salad as part of dinner then whatever, but it wouldn't be his first choice in a restaurant.]
I don't know, I'm not picky. I'm just more used to eating stuff like fried chicken or tonkatsu.
[In other words, cheap comfort food one can get at family restaurants. He scratches his head, giving this some more thought. Even though he's been out of the country a few times it was always on business, and he never gave much consideration towards the food. One incident in England is sticking out to him though, so he may as well mention it.]
I had a lamb burger, once. It was shitty. [He shrugs, aware the answers he's given around super helpful.]
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So, as Accelerator struggles, Endo smiles — and it's a smile that's a little too soft about a conversation about food. He doesn't make any effort to suppress it, because why should he? Anything that reminds him of Takiishi is going to get at least a hint of fondness from him. And there's more to it, too. He's always been drawn to people who exhibit qualities similar to Takiishi. Accelerator is already a god, to some extent — but him having have similar tastes in food to Takiishi is, to Endo, further proof that he's absolutely worth pursuing.
Looking a little too delighted — especially after that comment about the lamb burger — Endo says: ]
I know just what you should order.
[ And he can say that with confidence, because of his decade of experience.
He spins his own menu around so that Accelerator can read it, and then points to a specific dish: the filet of beef. Essentially, an extremely well-cooked and fancy steak, though the waiter would probably blanch if Endo labeled it that way. ]
I'm gonna get the quail. You can try it.
[ This is also how he usually does things with Takiishi — he buys him the tried and true dish, or at least as close to it as possible, and then gets something different for himself so he can try it. If he likes it — that's one more dish on the long mental list that Endo keeps for him.
It's clear that he's a little more overtly invested now — a bright quality to his eyes, though once he loses the fondness that was taking over his smile, it probably comes across as too self-assured. ]
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... Fine.
[To both of those things, though that word comes out a bit awkwardly. He isn't used to sharing food, and he definitely isn't used to it being a method of trying something new. It seems more... personal than it should be. Maybe it's because they're in a fancy restaurant and not somewhere cheap, maybe it's because the ambience is so private. Maybe it's because the look on Endo's face is so warm for something that's as basic as lunch.
Accelerator shifts, unsure of what to think about that. Does he have some kind of sentimentality attached to having meals with other people or sharing food, or something? Now that he's thinking about it, Last Order brought that up with him before. The first meal they had together and the first time she ever ate a hot meal — even though it was shitty, reheated garbage she had been happy to have it, since sharing a meal made the food taste better.
Sentimentality at its finest, though he can't deny he preferred eating with her, Yomikawa and Yoshikawa rather than all the times he ate alone at a restaurant or in his dorm. As sappy as it is, he knows there's something to her logic. He's guessing Endo would agree.
His tone is dry when he speaks up again.]
If it's terrible, I'm blaming you.
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[ This could be a bit of a loaded question, if they were to take their entire limited history in context. Technically, Endo wasn't wrong about a lot of things — his decision to involve Accelerator in the gang fight, and then his decision to push him to the brink, were both good gambles. His thoughts about the collar were mostly correct, as were his ideas about its limitations. Endo didn't believe he would escape being harmed by the wings, so in a roundabout way, he was right about that, too. Throughout most of their first day together Endo made a lot of inferences and assumptions that proved to be correct — and if they really look at what that means, the end result is that Accelerator suffered for it.
But Endo hadn't exactly predicted how all of it would play out, and there were a few things he got wrong along the way. He certainly hadn't expected Accelerator to transform into a god, nor did he expect that he would fall for him as a result. Endo's wrong plenty; he just happens to be right when it counts.
And while, arguably, a fancy dinner doesn't matter as much as, say, getting to see those wings again, it's important when it comes to continuing toward his goal. So that fine that Accelerator utters? Both accurately predicted and another sign of progress. That threat? Easily expected, and also proof of gaining ground. It's dry, it's playful, it's as much a promise as it is banter.
Just like Endo's subsequent question, because there's so much more to come, and he doesn't intend to be wrong about anything that matters.
And this — the new space taking shape between them — is what matters to him. ]
Don't worry. You'll love it. And you'll love dessert even more.
[ The waitress comes at that moment. Endo takes care of the entire order and throws in an oyster appetizer — though that's for his own selfish fun. Then he hands the menus over with a smile, which leads to a short flirtatious conversation about his "poor arm."
When that's done, he turns to Accelerator again, and asks: ]
Whaddya think?
[ He inclines his head toward the waitress as she walks away. ]
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Liking dessert seems harder to believe, since he isn't really a sweets kind of person, but he'll try it.
So he's quiet, handing his menu over, giving their surroundings another scan as Endo chats with the waitress. They seem to be getting along, though the mention of the arm sends a pang of guilt through him, making him curl his lips and awkwardly try to keep his attention on anything else. His focus only snaps back to Endo when the waitress leaves.]
About -?
[It takes him a second to clue in as to what - who - Endo is talking about about. When it clicks in his brain he blinks a few times, turning and glancing at the back of the waitress quickly, then back at Endo, at a total loss. Is this normal conversation for boys his age?? Not once has he ever felt any kind of attraction towards girls. Those kinds of feelings have always felt beyond him, and he's never had any motivation to reach for them. Girls are just girls, that's it.
So how is he supposed to respond to this? Well, it's Endo asking him, and thanks to their (horrifyingly embarrassing) conversation the other day he's got an idea of what his preferences are....
He sighs, reaching up to rub his temples.]
I don't think waitresses make that much money.
[A generic comment about her attractiveness based on popular societal beauty standards would be a bit much, so he decides to focus on the part of Endo's dating habits that would likely cause problems. That seems a lot more reasonable, in his mind.]
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But since Endo is fallible, he ends up proven wrong in this, too. Accelerator seems to take the question seriously, even if doing so seems to threaten a budding headache. How fun! Especially because his answer is both astute and very him.
Endo laughs. Unlike at the hospital, he keeps the sound contained, though it's still a little loud and a little too mirthful. ]
You think that's all I want?
[ Women have other features, buddy. He happens to enjoy those other features from time to time. It's not all about the cash, but that does help sweeten the pot — and in many cases, it is the main motivating factor. But he has fun, too — even if his heart will never be captured by a woman.
Without giving Accelerator space to answer, he rests his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand — cast and all — and says: ]
Nah, you're right. I like 'em rich.
[ The smile on his face is a little pointed — but that could mean anything. If he pulls out his new iPhone and sets it on the table, off to the side, that doesn't imply anything at all, does it? ]
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.........................................................
[It's more teasing. That's all it is. It's not as if he regrets buying the new phone (it isn't a big deal, really), he just should have chosen his words more carefully given that he went for the most expensive model. At least it isn't as overt as I've just fallen for you which, even though it was a text, is still stuck in the back of his mind like an irritating fly buzzing around. Obviously, obviously this is just a continuation of that. Endo is the type of jerk that likes to tease people, something that is especially aggravating when he's so good at reading them, too. He's probably doing it because dismissing a text is easy enough, and doing the same in person is a bit harder. Especially when he's getting stared at.
Especially when he's noticing that Endo's eyes are very striking.
Why that realization is hitting him right now is beyond him but it's there, settling in next to the memory of reading that text. Accelerator fidgets in his seat, glaring with an overly harsh expression back at Endo. That only lasts a few seconds before he's glancing away, antsy for the waitress to return with his coffee so he has something else to focus on. Casual conversation isn't his forte, but he tries his best in coming up with a topic that will steer things away from Endo looking at him like that.]
How's your arm feeling?
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But Accelerator changes the subject and Endo finally shifts, dropping his arm on the table with a loud thunk. ]
Itchy. Annoying.
[ He says this dismissively, like it isn't a big deal, but the itching is what really gets on Endo's nerves. If his arm weren't so important for fighting, he'd probably have gotten someone to take the cast off by now, the rest of his healing be damned.
(Though, technically, that is the plan — just with a little help in the form of a something not quite legal.)
He could say more, maybe even generously elaborate, but unfortunately for Accelerator, he doesn't feel like talking about his arm, nor does he feel like letting the previous subject go entirely. Without missing a beat, he transitions again. ]
You don't like women, do you?
[ Just something he's been mulling over now that he's seen Accelerator judge their waitress based on her assets (money) rather than her assets (body). In contrast, a small insinuation from Endo always elicits a nice reaction, in one form or another.
He remembers Accelerator looking at his hands — a fond memory. ]
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What isn't easy is that damn question. His glare deepens as Endo smoothly shifts the conversation backwards, and he has to work to come with an answer that isn't going to result in more teasing.]
.... I don't like most people.
[Which is technically true. Most people are annoying, aggravating, and he dislikes them in any kind of platonic sense. Of course, he's guessing Endo doesn't just mean platonic, though in the romantic sense it's the same. He's read plenty of novels and manga over the years that happened to include some romantic subplot or another (since he's never had friends to discuss dating and such that kind of situation isn't occurring to him), and he can safely say he never felt like what he read towards another person. Has he had complicated feelings towards another person that weren't easily categorized? Yes, he supposes, once. But that's —
That's something else. He's sure of it. And Endo is... barely tolerable? Or something else as well. He isn't really sure.
So what's left is his answer. It should be simple, but his ears are turning red and he has to fight the urge to fidget again. To compensate for his growing embarrassment, his expression turns combative.]
Is that a problem?
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He likes having this affect on Accelerator. It's addictive, just like his fascination with his wings. Endo's either wholly captivated or entirely disinterested. It's all or nothing, with no middle ground in between. This is no exception. ]
Why would it be?
[ He raises his eyebrows, but his expression turns a shade knowing, almost approaching the arrogance he demonstrated during their first meeting. To him, the question is yet another indicator of how enmeshed he already is within Accelerator's mind.
If Accelerator didn't care about his opinion at all — if he truly only came to the appointment with Endo out of guilt — then why would it matter if it were a problem? What would he care? Why ask at all? Because the opposite is true. He does care.
See, most people would probably take someone who fantasizes about killing them to be a pretty big red flag. Endo isn't most people. He's all about that unfettered, raw emotion being centered around him. He wants to be on Accelerator's mind and he doesn't care what form that takes. Violence is passion; thoughts of murder are, in a roundabout way, a form of attention. When Accelerator confessed to thinking about killing him, he might as well have been offering a form of devotion.
Accelerator isn't neutral about him — some part of him must already factor Endo in as a permanent part of his life. At least, that's how Endo takes it. ]
I don't give a damn about most people, either.
[ This may not seem true, as Endo navigates the social sphere with ease — and he's good at dealing with people when he wants to be. But it's a fact. He only cares about 1.5 people.
Accelerator is the 0.5. ]
But that's not what I mean. You don't gotta like someone to sleep with 'em.
[ Endo would be celibate if that were the case. Before all this went down, he only cared for Takiishi — and Takiishi cares for no one. ]
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But no. No smarmy comments about how he's missing out, or why women are great, or whatever. Instead he's agreeing with him, which makes Accelerator stare in utter confusion. This guy, the person who was just casually flirting with their waitress, shares his disdain towards most people? Is he serious? Accelerator would guess this is another round of teasing, but the smile on Endo's face says otherwise. It's the same one he had back in the hospital, during a point when he specifically wasn't making fun of him. He had just been babbling cheerfully about how his love life worked. He's... sort of doing the same thing right now, isn't he?
Accelerator relaxes slightly, feeling his guard drop a little. If he doesn't need to have any immediate worries about being pestered that frees up his mind to wander. Endo's extroverted nature has him curious; why bother putting the effort in when he doesn't like people? Is that just something that comes easily to him, so he does it without thinking? Accelerator can't imagine it, not when people make him so irritated and exhausted most of the time.
But then... Endo is strange to begin with. Most people, after nearly being killed by something as inhuman as his black wings, would be utterly terrified of him. They'd rightfully consider him a monster and avoid him as much as possible. They wouldn't be asking him to come to medical appointments, and then lunch.
It's why he's even here, isn't it. He's sitting here, putting up with being embarrassed and teased and aggravated because the person across him isn't afraid of him. Endo is interested in him, he he wants to spend time with him. Because sometimes, in between all of that bullshit, they can have a normal conversation. All of that makes him feel anxious, but also... kind of warm, in a good way.]
... So that's what you do? Sleep with people even though you don't like them.
[He's trying to wrap his brain around this, so it's a tentative curiosity that motivates him to ask. Partly because his inexperience in this area of life means there are huge gaps in his knowledge, and mostly because this is another chance to learn a bit more about Endo himself.]