[Once again, getting back onto his feet is the worst part of this. Now that his choker is somewhat charged it's tempting to make use of it, but the fact that isn't fully charged has him cautious. He really doesn't want to run out of battery all over again, so he's going to suck it up. He can manage, he did it once before.
(It's still a pain though. He's such a weakling without his ability.)
At least once they're outside it's a straightforward route to the emergency clinic. Just one step at a time, with Accelerator looking down often to make sure he isn't about to trip over his crutch.]
I got shot in the head.
[His answer is blunt, and he has no intention of tiptoeing around the gory details. There are parts he plans to leave out, like how he got shot in the first place, full context of the entire situation, Last Order, but otherwise he doesn't hold back. There's no point. As far as he's concerned, it was his own fault, so why should he?
He gives Endo a small glance. He isn't expecting anything kind out of Endo, and he doesn't want pity over what happened. What happened happened, and it's reasonable for someone to be curious about why someone so young needs a crutch and something to assist with brain function.]
I pissed off this scientist, and he had a gun. I managed to prevent the bullet from hitting my brain, but it still shattered my skull and caused a brain bleed.
[Accelerator can still remember staring down the gun, the pain and resignation he felt after his skull cracked but before he passed out. He doesn't regret throwing his own life away to save Last Order's, she was worth it. In fact he cracks a tiny, rueful smile that he's still alive.]
[ As they move along and Endo adjusts to the feeling of being upright, he's able to support more of his own weight, rather than leaving it entirely to Accelerator. In fact, once he's more or less steady, he likely could walk by himself most of the way; he really just needed to get over that painful rise to his feet. His nap was far from a cure-all, but it at least let some of the shock wear off, and it allowed his adrenaline to replenish a little. His injuries are more manageable now, even if they're still pretty bad.
But there's something to be said for allowing Accelerator to continue to help him along. It works on multiple levels, in his mind: prolonging conversation, giving Endo the opportunity to analyze him up close and personal, keeping Accelerator's attention on him. And though Endo doesn't need to milk his very real injuries, there is something to be said for using dependency to build bonds. Accelerator may hate him after all that manipulation business, but it should be somewhat difficult to keep that hate in the forefront of his mind when the source of it is still in need.
Besides, physical contact is a good way to bolster all this sharing. ]
Whoa, that's pretty hardcore.
[ Nothing in his tone indicates that the compliment is false. Unlike earlier, his voice is absent of his taunting arrogance. Because hey — not many people get shot in the head and live to tell the tale. Endo isn't impressed, per se, because Accelerator did get shot in the first place, and by his own admission, only survived by luck (and souped up technology), but credit where credit is due. Plus, he's trying to buy a little more goodwill.
Look how far they've come since their fight! Accelerator is being conversational and everything. Endo just needs to keep that going, so he can plant a few more seeds before Accelerator dumps him at the hospital. ]
What'd you do to piss him off that bad?
[ Honestly, Endo has his guesses, since Accelerator isn't a likeable guy and lacks the charisma to cover for that. He's kind of hopeless in terms of social skills, and from Endo's perspective, a little too easy to upset. It's not difficult to imagine him pissing off anyone.
Once again, it isn't exactly the question he wants to ask — there's a lot more to dig into when it comes to those details — but he's still building toward something. ]
[Accelerator is fairly sure he's going to be completely exhausted tomorrow. This is still worthwhile, but maybe he'll skip tomorrow and just stay in bed all day. That would be nice.
Right now he just needs to take this one step at a time, what few memories he has of that night coming back to him. Things get fuzzy around the time when he was shot, but most of it is still fairly clear, especially his last few thoughts before the bullet hit him. Accelerator is fully expecting to get teased over his explanation; maybe something about how he shouldn't be pissing off people with guns (valid), or some brazen remark about how his ability apparently must not work on bullets. Something along those lines, something to put him down a little, since the opportunity is right there and Endo has shown he isn't above tearing into him. It wouldn't even be unwarranted, in his opinion. He screwed up, he's the one who caused the entire situation in the first place.
But no, Accelerator can't detect even a hint of sarcasm, and his smile fades as he glances over warily. Sincerity? He's being sincere? Their close physical proximity makes him acutely aware he's staring after only a few moments, so he goes back to looking down at the sidewalk. That's a lot easier, and gives him another few seconds to decide whether or not he wants to answer.
It can't hurt. Sans some details, of course, and chances are explaining will result in some teasing, but whatever. It'd give him the chance to make it clear that it was his screw-up. He deserves at least a little ridicule for fucking everything up so badly.]
.... He was going to hurt some brats to pay off a fucking gambling debt. I stopped him, but I almost didn't bother. If I'd just helped out from the start things would've turned out a lot better.
[He huffs. That's more than enough information, he doesn't need to get into details about the clones or Last Order. That they were artificially created doesn't matter, nor does the method in which Amai Ao was going to hurt them. Just that he was going to, and he was stopped.]
[ Manipulation is second-nature to Endo. He's been getting people to do what he wants since he was a kid, and he's pulled off far greater feats since entering his teenage years. It comes so naturally to him, sometimes he doesn't fully realize he's doing it; the line between being himself and guiding conversations and relationships in his preferred direction is thin. Not that this bothers him. As long as he's able to keep his gangs running, cash coming, and Takiishi's happiness lasting, that's all he needs out of life. The rest is negligible.
Until, that is, he encounters the incredibly rare situation of wanting something for himself. Then his approach matters deeply, albeit in an entirely different way. He'd go to the ends of the earth for Takiishi; he'd scam politicians and companies alike. He'd manipulate the emperor himself, if it would make Takiishi smile. But fostering a personal connection, no matter how fake or temporary it may be, requires a degree of give on his part. Such a relationship needs to play out on a much smaller scale, so he has to be extra sharp, capable of multiple shades of nuance, and even willing to meet the person part of the way to his chosen destination. He has to offer pieces of himself, albeit in a carefully controlled manner, in order slowly claim what he's decided will be his.
Deciding that he wants to be a subtle thorn in Accelerator's side for the foreseeable future means that he can't just break him down all over again, let alone with the intensity he did previously. This time, he has to go slower, be more methodical, and take more risks.
That's why, as Accelerator stares at him, undoubtedly looking for hidden meaning in his words, Endo doesn't smirk — or make any move, really. He's patient, and he keeps his expression smooth. And when Accelerator shares more, he doesn't make a sound until he's done talking.
When Endo speaks in turn, he shapes his reply to be somewhat supportive, but not excessively so, as Endo can't suddenly morph his personality into that of a cheerleader for the good and the needy without it being blatantly obvious that he's working a specific angle. ]
Sounds like you haven't changed much at all. [ He offers a small, teasing smile. ] You got a thing for sticking yourself right in the middle of other people's business.
[ His tone, however, is kinder than it's been throughout their entire time together, despite the fact that it's also clearly teasing. It's meant to be good-natured, even nostalgic, as though everything that happened between them took place a while ago, rather than that same day. ]
That was the turning point, huh? Funny how that works sometimes.
[ Even Endo has one of those in his history, although he arguably went in the opposite direction, a fact that would be more apparent if anyone could read his mind. Despite his words, Endo thinks that Accelerator must've been a hell of a lot more interesting before he decided to turn kind and "heroic." Now he's just sitting on all that potential.
[The lack of overt putdowns has Accelerator baffled. There's loads in his story that leaves him open for criticism, rightly so, but all he gets is some light teasing he'd expect from someone who knows and likes him. Hell, even then, this is a lot kinder than the sass he gets from Last Order on a daily basis. What the hell is he supposed to do with this? Take Endo being friendly at face value? Is he just the kind of person who can flip on a dime? Maybe seeing something as otherworldly as the wings dragged something out of him that isn't normally there, and he's actually just a perfectly normal asshole??
Accelerator can read people when he needs to, but that's always been more of an application of psychological theories he learned in school than any kind of innate understand of other people. He doesn't see how that could help here, so he's left confused.]
Yeah, I guess so.
[Endo is wrong in assuming his tendency to insert himself into other people's business. For a long time he thought he had been normal (looking back now, having no friends and getting bullied by classmates wasn't normal), then he spent years deliberately isolating himself away from people. It's only recently that he's been doing this, because of the Sisters and Last Order. Because he wanted to follow in the footsteps of that Level 0. Because he's the strongest and therefore in the best position to help people.
On the other hand, he's right about how he hasn't changed much. Despite all that, at his core, he's still that same monster that killed half of the clones. That thought sticks in his mind, faded into the background as a realization hits him.
This almost feels like a normal conversation they're having. Something that's somewhat personal, so something he would talk about to someone with whom he he has a certain level of familiarity. Not a friend, the idea of him having friends is not a prospect he can bring himself to consider, but maybe an acquaintance or something. One of the people he'd been allied with in the past. It's almost normal and that's more than a little bewildering to him, particularly because it... doesn't feel that bad. Uncomfortable, yes, but not enough to make him retreat and clam up. A thoughtful kind of silence overtakes him for a few moments as he considers this.
Having a normal conversation isn't a bad thing. And a normal conversation shouldn't be completely one-sided, which is why he glances over at Endo again. When he speaks up again, it's a little reluctant, like he's still feeling out how to navigate this entire social situation.]
... You ever have one of those? A turning point?
[It's partly curiosity that drives him to ask that question, partly a desire to keep on conversing normally. He doesn't know anything about Endo outside of him being a weird (sometimes unsettling) asshole, while the guy knows a lot more about him. He's realizing he'd like to change that. Endo is a strange person, and he doesn't really understand what the hell is going through his head. Maybe it's just out of an abundance of cautious that he's asking? Know thy enemy or some shit. Accelerator isn't totally sure but it's a curiosity he's deciding to pursue for the moment.]
[ Stretches of silence are entirely comfortable for Endo. He's used to that kind of thing. Takiishi often goes incredibly long lengths of time without saying any at all, or by responding to certain questions with only a brief word or two. Endo loves to fill empty spaces with chatter, but it's not inherently necessary. And contrary to what people who know him may think, he actually enjoys the occasional insertion of quiet reflection, especially after making a move of his own, however small of one it may have been. It usually means whatever seeds he's attempting to plant have taken root — that a perspective is shifting, or becoming more accommodating, or simply coming to accept him.
This proves to be true with Accelerator, because his silence is followed up by a gesture of reciprocity: a question of his own. A personal one, no less, which is very getting-to-know-you in its attempt. He kind of wants to laugh in return, but he keeps himself contained, instead simply nodding before replying. ]
A long time ago.
[ Endo doesn't go around sharing his backstory, but that isn't due to any great desire to keep secrets. He actually enjoys talking about himself, especially in reference to Takiishi, and could go on and on if given the opportunity. Generally speaking, nothing that he'd reveal would hurt him. If anything, it might confuse people. But Endo also likes being surrounded by mystery. It helps fuels all the rumors concerning him and keeps him both large and fearsome in people's minds — which is very useful in his line of work. Plenty of people respect him specifically because of those rumors.
But, in this case, he needs to be both serious and careful, probably for the first time ever. Because Accelerator is stronger than him with that false power at his disposal, and truly stronger with those wings. He doesn't want to create any leads that could be followed back to Takiishi, though Endo still thinks Takiishi would have some fun fighting him. It would be too much of a risk, and Endo's real responsibility is taking care of Takiishi and preserving his happiness. So this proud topic has to be a delicate one.
He still offers truths, as that's the best way to prove a degree of sincerity, but carefully chosen and shaped so as not to give away too much. ]
I was kinda lost as a kid. I dunno where I would have ended up, but it probably wouldn't've been great.
[ At the time, Endo was content with the emptiness of his life because he didn't know any better. But he was young, his world was small, and he was insulated by people who were impressed or unnerved by his talents. A decade would have been a long time to go without feeling much of anything. It's hard to imagine now that he's so removed from all of it. ]
But I met someone, and he changed everything for me.
[ Endo's life has been dedicated to him ever since. He smiles as he says as much, but unlike every smile that's graced his face thus far, it appears a little wistful. Then, immediately brightening, he cheerfully adds: ]
Now I'm here!
[ Being carted off to the hospital by someone other than the said person.
But what he really means is his chosen lifestyle, his "career," the level of respect he's obtained, and his ability to fill all the empty places within himself with the drive to keep Takiishi happy and bits of entertainment in between.
[Accelerator honestly isn't expecting anything out of his question, not even a vague answer. He never holds much in the way of expectations when it comes to socializing with other people in general, and this goes doubly so for someone he both barely knows and has seriously injured. So Endo's answer is more than what he thought he'd get, far more, and it's giving him a lot to consider.
They're coming from a similar place. That's a frightening thought. Does that mean they've got other similarities? Are they similar people? Having someone else in the world who is anything like him, a monster like him, seems like a complete nightmare.
He's quietly thoughtful, trying to process this information.]
Hmm.
[He can understand what it's like to have found someone that important. Last Order changed him, she's the entire reason he was shot. That Level 0, too; he was the one who made him realize the clones are more than just puppets. He was the one he tried to emulate for so long, the person he put on a pedestal has a real hero, the ally he knows he can trust unconditionally even when they're on opposing sides. It wasn't just one incident with Kamijou Touma but many of them, small and large, building up over time until Accelerator became the person he is now. If it wasn't for him he'd be an entirely different person, a far worse person. He's sure of that.
Actually, he has to wonder what that third string would do if he was here right now. Probably punch out a lot of those gang members, make them reconsider their terrible life choices. He'd for sure punch out Endo and — okay, that is something he'd enjoy seeing. He's been on the receiving end of that fist more than enough times to know exactly how it would go: there would be a fight, of course, and somehow Kamijou would get to the root of the issue, and before punching him out he'd say something awe-inspiring —
... Well, anyways. Accelerator blinks, it taking him a few moments to re-focus his attention. That Level 0 isn't here, so those are just stray thoughts that don't matter. The point is, he understands where Endo is coming from, a strange turn of events given out little he relates to other people, particularly people around his age. He can't even imagine the kind of person that would have been enough to change someone like Endo, nor what Endo could have been like before meeting him. Normal? Worse? Better? That wistful expression, no matter how brief it is, doesn't go unnoticed, and it raises more questions in Accelerator's mind. He has to sort through them, filter out the ones that are way too brazen, and comes up with something fairly low-key.]
Was that the person you tried to call?
[His tone isn't judgmental. Sure, it would've been easier if whoever that was had answered the damn phone, but there are tons of legitimate reasons for someone to not pick up. It is what it is. He's just curious.]
[ There are legitimate reasons for not answering a phone, and then there are Takiishi reasons — which are entirely legitimate in Endo's eyes, no matter the circumstances. Truthfully, were it not for the circumstances, Endo wouldn't have called him at all. He doesn't want to bother or inconvenience Takiishi in any way; his job is to support him, provide for him, and make him happy, not put him a position he very likely won't like — and won't have patience for. If Endo hadn't been so addled from shock and the pain of his injuries, he probably would have refrained from calling him at all.
Does it bother him that Takiishi is unreliable? Self-centered? Not at all worried about where he is right now? No, Endo would say. He's made peace with the fact that Takiishi could take or leave him. He's content. Takiishi doesn't need to care; he does the caring for him.
(And if it stings a little, that's easily ignored, shoved down, unacknowledged — a non-issue.)
He's thinking about Takiishi while Accelerator is busy thinking about — whatever it is he's currently mulling over. Endo's therefore unconcerned by how much time passes, wondering how long he's going to be kept in the hospital and thinking about all the ways in which his stint will inconvenience Takiishi. He decides that Accelerator's going to have to buy him a phone before he leaves, that way he can at least warn Takiishi that he won't be able to provide meals until he's released.
Despite making these tentative plans, he hears Accelerator's questions and answers it without hesistation, a soft: ]
Yeah.
[ This is where he'd normally go into depth about Takiishi — rambling on about him and his fighting abilities and how he's kind of a mess but absolutely beautiful when he fights. The monologue is on the tip of his tongue, but too many details might lead to problems. Endo has more work to do in securing Accelerator as his, and until then, he doesn't want to reveal too much.
But he will share a little, if only to get to indulge in talking about him. ]
He's not really a phone guy. Half the time, his cell's stuffed in a drawer or closet, dead. And when it isn't dead, it's usually on the charger, not in his pocket.
[ His tone isn't saccharine, but there's a fond quality to it that Endo doesn't bother to disguise. ]
It still had battery when I called, so he might see my message at some point.
[ As for when that could happen — maybe tomorrow morning. Maybe not. It's hard to say. ]
[Oof, that isn't great to hear. Endo's answer at least confirms to Accelerator that helping this jerk out instead of just ditching him was the right thing to do, but for some stupid reason that relief is short-lived. It's instead turning into pity, as much as he doesn't want it to.
Accelerator manages to keep a straight face, but inwardly he can feel the urge to judge this person rising. Whoever the hell this is doesn't sound particularly responsible or reliable. That's a stark contrast from that Level 0. Despite everything he's done, Accelerator knows he can depend on Kamijou Touma. If he ever felt the need to contact that dumbass for help he doesn't doubt that he would show up eventually. Being who he is, there's a chance he'd be late (probably off saving someone else, because he's that kind of person), but he knows he'd still show up.
Whoever this person is, they aren't Kamijou Touma.
Worse than that is the lack of certainty that he'll show up for Endo for any of this. Being alone and stuck in a hospital is shitty, he knows that from personal experience. The last time he was in one he at least had Last Order and some of the clones for company, and that had been infinitely better than being on his own. If Last Order was here he knows what she'd do, and he's pretty sure he knows what that Level 0 would do, too.
He's kind of hating both of them right now, even though this is all hypothetical and all in his head.]
Clinic's over there. [He jerks his head in the direction of the building, a glowing sign above the entrance indicating that they've arrived. His next words come far more reluctantly, like he doesn't want to ask but can't keep quiet.] ... Have you got anyone else you can call?
[ Though he would never telegraph it to Accelerator, the sight of the hospital is a huge relief. If he were alone, tension would drain from him and Endo would stop acting like these injuries are no big deal — albeit intentionally, rather than the slip he experienced earlier. This entire walk has been exhausting, and while the nap helped him clear his head a little, he's far from in decent shape. Staying at a hospital isn't something that Endo wants to do by any means, but the thought of stabilizing his injuries and lying on a bed is too overwhelmingly alluring to pass up.
He keeps walking as though none of that is going through his head, even responding to Accelerator without a hitch, but he swallows before speaking, his throat feeling dry. Endo's never been this injured before, and though vulnerability hasn't been a huge factor in anything he's done so far, he feels it now as he anticipates everything that's going to happen once he walks through those doors.
Takiishi isn't exactly a source of overflowing comfort and support, but Endo does kind of wish he were here now that all this is on his mind. If nothing else, he could turn his unnerving stare on the nurses and doctors to keep them from pestering Endo too much. ]
Yeah, but I'm not gonna.
[ Technically speaking, Endo has a lot of contacts. When he's not being a freak or messing with people for some reason or another, he's actually pretty charismatic, and that means "friends" are easy for him to make. But calling any of them over to sit by his bedside? No thanks. He'd rather be alone. ]
I do need a phone, though.
[ He flashes a brief smile in Accelerator's direction. Only one of them is capable of going shopping, and guess who it is? ]
[Accelerator's expression is less than impressed at the response he gets, even one of his eyebrows is twitching. Seriously? Not going to? Not even his parents or whatever? He isn't sure if he should feel sympathy or be annoyed at the level of irresponsibility currently on display. It takes a certain kind of person to be more concerned about their phone than informing important people that they're injured and at the hospital.]
Tche.
[Accelerator scowls back, picking up what Endo means. He doesn't argue, though; it is his fault the phone broke, and with his absurd bank account paying to replace it isn't actually a big deal. He makes a mental note to get Endo's broken phone, and heads for the entrance.
Thank God the doors are automatic, because he couldn't manage a normal one right now. Inside, the ER is what one would expect from a normal hospital: a lot of white, signs everywhere, and the strong smell of disinfectant. Accelerator glances around once, then turns and heads over to a waiting area with chairs. There are a few people already waiting for some reason or another, and they get some strange looks that he pointedly ignores. It's whatever, he's certain half the reason people can't mind their own business is because regular people aren't used to being in a hospital, so the oppressive atmosphere stresses them out. (The other half is probably because it looks like a skinny disabled teen picked a fight and won against a teen who by all accounts should've kicked the shit out of him and may or may not be yakuza.)
Stopping at the nearest chair, he unceremoniously dumps Endo into it.]
Wait here.
[What, like he's going to wander off somewhere in this state??
Accelerator doesn't even wait for an answer before abruptly turning and heading over to the front desk. He's only there for a minute or two, talking to the front desk clerk, before coming back over with a pen, clipboard and some paperwork in hand. Sinking down into the chair next to Endo, he retracts his crutch so he can use his right hand. When he speaks up he keeps his eyes on the paperwork. There's a lot of information that needs to be filled out.]
I told them you got sideswiped by a car. [Because 'mangled by by the literal manifestation of negative self-actualization' would only get him more weird looks.] So they're going to get you in ahead of some other people. Give me your wallet.
[ As soon as they're inside, Endo determines that he hates it here. It's rare for him to feel strongly about places; he tends to be pretty neutral about them, just as he is when it comes to people. The audience of a waiting room doesn't get to him, as regardless of his view of people, he's in his element when he's around them. Case in point: in response to those strange looks, Endo smiles, charmingly apologetic. Sure, a kind face can't make up for tattoos and the roughed up look of a delinquent — which is why Endo tends to cover his tattoos when dealing with serious matters — but it helps make everyone stop staring.
The reason he hates it here is not because it's a hospital. He's never really spent much time in one, or even in doctor's offices, so he has no real association with them, positive or negative. Rather, it's because the sterile environment and fluorescent lighting remind him of a testing center from way, way back in his memories. It's an innate feeling born out of childhood nonsense that doesn't matter anymore, so as Accelerator dumps him into a chair and Endo attempts to sit in a way that makes him look a little less pathetic, he silently talks himself out of feeling anything about the clinic at all.
When Accelerator joins him again, Endo raises his eyebrows at the lie, amused because getting hit by a car is pretty damn lame compared to what actually happened. But credit where credit is due: it's a good lie. If nothing else, it'll keep the staff from asking too many questions, especially if they think it was a hit and run. ]
I'll give you my wallet when you get the phone.
[ Minus his ID, because there's no way in hell that he's (1) putting his real info on that paperwork, and (2) giving Accelerator anything that'll lead back to Takiishi.
He leans to look Accelerator's shoulder, winces a little, and wishes the hospital would've started pain medication before all of this. Though, to be fair, he won't take anything until he's in a room, free of having to make decisions. Until that point, he needs to stay sharp. ]
Just make stuff up. Put my name down as —
[ A brief pause while he makes a decision to mess with a certain someone — the only person that he actually hates. ]
Umemiya Hajime. Birthday February 1st.
[ If Accelerator doesn't question or protest this false information, then Endo will answer everything as though he's Umemiya. Too bad his phone is broken. He'd take a picture so he could send it to him later.
Then again, Umemiya would probably just overlook that and act all concerned instead. ]
[Accelerator clicks his tongue, though since he isn't the one who would get in trouble for providing fake information he doesn't take his disapproval any further than that. Whatever, it'll be Endo's problem. He starts filling in the forms as instructed, putting down 'Umemiya Hajime' and 'February 1.'
(Though really, he already gave a lie about what happened. What's a few more on top of that one?)
He glances up briefly from his scribbling to see some nurses past the desk getting a bed and wheelchair together. At least they're being prompt. Turning his gaze back down to the papers, he taps the section asking for a medical history with his pen.]
Any reason you don't want to give them your real information?
[His tone is very dry as he asks that. The idea of a kid faking personal information and handing it over to medical personnel would never happen back home. Researchers or administrators? Sure, if they were doing some unethical experimentation and wanted their research to continue. But a kid wouldn't have that much power and expect to get away with it.]
Who wants to leave a paper trail in this day and age?
[ He asks this nonchalantly. A shrug would accompany the question, but since that's a risky movement without the aid of pain medication, he doesn't give in to the temptation — this time. ]
Do you?
[ Doesn't sound like a good idea for a guy powered by a mysterious choker and capable of turning into a deity. It isn't a good idea for Endo, either; he runs a lot of gangs, his name is kind of well-known, and again: he won't do anything to put Takiishi in danger. Umemiya's identity it is, for the foreseeable future.
Anyway: ]
No medical history.
[ He's been punched in the face a lot by Takiishi over the years, but that's about it as far as any injuries go, and Endo's pretty healthy. But even if that weren't the case, he'd probably still go with none, since he doesn't want any of this leading back to him.
He glances at the nurses while they finish up with the bed-and-wheelchair combo. ]
Here. [ It takes a moment, but he manages to dig his wallet out of his pocket and remove his ID. He's a little out of breath after that, but he manages: ] In case they make me go back alone.
[ When the time comes for Accelerator to look into the wallet, he'll find it full of credit cards in women's names. And yes, Endo intends for him to use one of those to pay for his new phone. ]
[He's had an enormous paper trail since he was a small child, so the thought of not having one is bizarre (also bizarre is not having any medical history). Accelerator can only give a vague shrug as he finishes up the paperwork while a nurse comes around with a wheelchair for Endo. The two of them may have walked in here but a bunch of medical professionals are going to be slightly more careful about exacerbating any potentially serious injuries. The paperwork gets handed over, and Accelerator gets to his feet, re-extending his crutch.]
Have fun.
[Shoving Endo's wallet into his hoodie, he turns to head out. He isn't planning on sticking around, fairly sure that if he does all he'll be doing is hanging around for hours and hours in the waiting room while doctors take x-rays and MRIs and whatever else. There's no point, he'd only be running his battery down.
So he leaves, goes and finds an internet cafe to fully charge his choker, take a nap, and clean up his nose. He got off a lot easier than Endo, but his face is still sore. Then, once he's gotten himself sorted out, he sits back and tries to decide what to do.
He could just leave. Despite having Endo's wallet, there isn't anything forcing him to go back to the hospital. At most he could drop it off at the front desk, then ditch the guy. He's gotten him to the hospital where doctors will take care of his injuries, so he doesn't owe him anything else.
Aside from a new phone.
And being in the hospital alone would be really shitty. That one he knows from personal experience.
... Plus, ignoring that whole nonsense with his wings, they were kind of getting along....
Those thoughts make Accelerator want to smash something, but he chooses the more mature option of stomping off to the nearest shopping district. He isn't actually sure what kind of phone Endo uses, and as he walks he considers his options. In the end, he decides to go for an iphone, so after finding the closest Apple store and purchases the newest, top-of-the-line model. Doing that reminds him of the wallet, so after he finishes he pulls it out and, out of curiosity, rifles through it.
And finds a bunch of womens' credit cards. The fuck? Are these supposed to be a joke?? But they look real, so Accelerator is at a complete loss as to why Endo has them. Is the guy a pickpocket or something? Who the hell still pickpockets in this day and age?
Sighing heavily, he pockets the thing then starts to make his way back to the hospital. On the way he stops at a convenience store to get himself a can of coffee. He needs to feed his addiction before diving back into the fucking mess that is Endo Yamato.
When he arrives back at the hospital he heads into the normal entrance, asking for the room number for one Umemiya Hajime, and surprised to find no one has caught on to that being a fake name. When he's given the number and directions up to the appropriate ward he thanks the clerk and wanders on up, taking a few moments outside the room to steel himself for ugh, more socialization, before poking his head in.]
[ They give him pain medication first, and that changes everything.
Endo wouldn't call the experience fun, but compared to his two unmedicated journeys, one of which consisted in part of a hand at his ribs, he's having a fine time. All the tests, x-rays, MRIs are annoying at best, but pretty tolerable with the aid of meds. He's actually in a pretty good mood when everything is done and the nurses finally deposit him on a bed for the foreseeable future. And since they also stabilized his arm with a splint-and-sling combo, Endo's only real complaint is his ribs. But that's exactly what another dose of medication is for.
Once he's actually settled in bed, without his pain being a huge deciding factor in everything he does, he pretty much immediately falls asleep. It turns out that getting beaten around by a god and suffering from untended injuries for a little bit too long is exhausting. His sleep is deep, dreamless, and only interrupted when Accelerator returns.
At the sound of his greeting, Endo awakens with an expression of pure confusion, as though he expected to wake up back at home, or at the very least alone. Then, with subdued surprise: ]
You came back.
[ Originally, Endo was sure he would, what with his whole hero complex, the guilt factor, and the fact that Endo was clearly growing on him a little. But with heavy pain meds and the confusion of sleep mixed in, Endo remembered that he's a pretty bad judge of character, generally speaking, and he's also kind of not great at holding on to the things he wants. It's not that he lost confidence in himself so much as he forgot he'd already made plans and contingencies, that seeds were planted, that he had pretty much taken care of everything before conking out. In the immediacy of waking up, he felt as though he had a lot more to do than he already had.
But since that's clearly not an issue, he decides to enjoy his past self's work and relax into a much more typical, if somewhat sloppy, smile.
And immediately put Accelerator to work. ]
Hey, can you grab me that water?
[ He points at a hospital-issued jug of water that's sitting on a small table out of Endo's reach, thanks to the many machines to which he's currently connected. The jug is nice and full, and Endo has yet to take a sip. He's on nothing by mouth orders, which means he isn't supposed to be eating or drinking anything, as he may need surgery. But Endo hasn't had water in what feels like days, and he doubts he's going to need anything more than a cast and some meds to go. His real plan is to discharge himself as soon as he can.
But explaining this to Accelerator may lead him to refuse the water, and right now, hydration is all Endo wants. The phone, the wallet, basking in the fact that Accelerator looks as though he might be settling in for the long haul — all that can wait until he's had a sip. Or ten. ]
[Endo's remark is simple, unsurprising, and yet Accelerator feels himself hit with a wave of uncomfortable anxiety. Maybe he shouldn't have come back. This is the kind thing to do, the good thing, and he isn't a good person. He won't even pretend to be, so maybe this was all a big, stupid mistake? Except he's here now, so at the very least he needs to drop that goddamn phone off before running like a total coward. At least he has a can of coffee he can chug, that will make him feel a little better.
All of that runs through his head as he steps into the room and his gaze (irritated, as usual) turns from Endo over to the jug. Okay, water, he can do that.
He sets two bags down on the table next to the jug. One is clearly a paper bag from an Apple store, containing the new cell phone. The other is a plain plastic bag containing his can of coffee. With his hand freed up, he grabs the jug and pours Endo a cup of water.]
What did the doctors say?
[That's information he could at least use. His own analysis earlier hadn't been all that in-depth and he can't replace a real doctor and medical equipment, so he's curious as to how bad the injuries are. Being stuck at least one night in the hospital for monitoring wouldn't surprise him at all. Surgery might be a little more extreme, he isn't totally sure his wings did that much damage, but that wouldn't really surprise him either.
Setting the jug down, he grabs the cup to hand it over, not thinking anything of it. Obviously if Endo wasn't allowed any fluids he'd be following the orders of health professionals, obviously, so Accelerator doesn't question the request.]
[ At first, Endo doesn't even look at the bags. He only has eyes for the cup, which he grabs with a little too much enthusiasm — partially due to thirst, partially due to the drugs lowering his inhibitions just enough to make him forget to consider the optics of desperation. He downs the water immediately. ]
Fuck, that's good.
[ It's just water. Nothing special about it. But right now, it might as well be the most precious drink on earth. He wants more, but while he may be completely disregarding the doctor's orders, he won't ask for seconds. He'll restrain himself for now.
Maybe.
Belatedly, and distractedly: ]
They're seeing if I need surgery. We're waiting on results.
[ His attention is on Accelerator, and it's a little intense. He's subdued by the meds, but not as effectively as he should be. They take away an edge that Endo considers very important, because where as he should now revert to teasing, or demanding the new phone, or easing his way further into "friendship" with Accelerator, he blurts out: ]
Are you gonna sit?
[ And, y'know, stay? Endo doesn't need company, but Accelerator's making him feel a little — unsettled, because he's just standing there like he's aiming to have one foot out the door.
For that same reason, it comes out phrased as a question, rather than an assertion of what Accelerator should do. Endo rubs his face, trying to wake himself up some more. ]
[There's a tiny, miniscule little thing that happens within Accelerator in the short span of time between him pouring and handing the water to Endo, and Endo drinking it. He's quiet, waiting for an answer and therefore not doing much aside from watching the relief flood the other boy due to getting a drink, even though it's about as basic as you can get.
He feels nice. Good, even, for being able to help with something so simple.
It's a flicker of emotion, not enough to make Accelerator's expression shift. This is a rare feeling for him, a monster like himself typically doesn't feel good about something, and he's surprised by it. It's only water, so why should it even matter? Is it the fact that it is such a small thing that makes it feel significant? He's so used to hurting people that doing something kind when it isn't out of a sense of obligation is enough to affect him?
He isn't sure, and with Endo's answer he decides not to dwell on it, blinking as he snaps out of his thoughts. Surgery? Hopefully it doesn't come to that. The question has him pausing as well, and he grabs the Apple bag, dropping it into Endo's lap, followed by his wallet. There, the main two reasons he showed back up are done, so he no longer has any obligation to stick around. He can leave and not feel bad about doing so. Except....
Except doing something nice not out of any sense of obligation isn't such a bad thing. Grabbing a nearby chair, he drags it over to the side of the bed. Then he takes his convenience store bag and sits down. To give his arm a break he's going to let go of his crutch, leaving it standing on its own next to the chair.
It's fine, is what he tells himself. It's worth sticking about to see what the doctors conclude, if surgery is needed. Making more of an effort towards someone he's hurt isn't a bad thing either, and besides, his opinion on hospitals hasn't changed. Being stuck in one all alone sucks. Keeping Endo company, even for a little while, is the right thing to do.]
What's with all the credit cards with women's names on them?
[While he asks that Accelerator pulls out his can of coffee, popping it open and taking a long sip. That was something he noticed earlier when poking around his wallet, and he's curious.]
[ Normally, Endo would grab the bag, look inside, and make a comment or two about the phone choice, depending on the brand and model Accelerator picked. Instead, he allows the bag to sit on his lap unopened and his wallet to rest beside it untouched. He's too busy tracking Accelerator's movements to determine if he is going to leave — and trying to decide what he'll do if he does. Being hydrated helped wake him up a little, but Endo's still feeling a little too slowed down to make a plan beyond calling out, Hey, don't go yet.
So it's a good thing that Accelerator drags that chair over and settles into it with a drink of his own. Endo relaxes, feeling that restless energy begin to drain. Which, in turn, allows him to answer somewhat brightly: ]
Those are from the women I'm dating.
[ — as he grins, still a little sleepily. ]
Or were dating, before.
[ Sometimes only for a night, sometimes he gets a short-term thing going. Depends on what he needs, how much fun he's having, and how much money she has to spare. ]
Don't worry, I didn't steal 'em. They gave 'em to me.
[ And they can cancel them at any time, if they get tired of seeing charges build up. But they don't! They keep paying their bills, which means that whenever they're in town and looking for a little fun, they have a nice excuse to call him up. Endo visits with them, stays the night, and the next thing he knows, his credit limit has gone up. It's a nice system. Win-win.
And whenever one of them falls off the grid or does cancel her card, Endo goes and picks up someone else. This cycle keeps his pockets buffered, elevating his lifestyle beyond gang profits. He and Takiishi have expensive tastes, after all.
He shifts as best he can, moving closer to Accelerator's side of the bed, to add a teasing: ]
Jealous?
[ But even after saying the word, he stays lying along the edge of the bed, choosing to settle right there. He can't invade Accelerator's space while hooked up to machines, but he uses his physical presence as best he can regardless. ]
[Accelerator wishes Endo had stolen them. That would be a much more straightforward answer. He's scum and mugs women on the street for credit cards. That's it, dead simple, and petty theft is something Accelerator has no problem understanding. He's encountered it more times than he can count, so it's not that big a deal.
But dating. Dating. Accelerator hears that and freezes, stunned (even though objectively speaking, it's not some huge bombshell). This is an area of life in which he has exactly zero experience: practically every person he's ever known his own age is either terrified of him or wants to fight him, with a tiny handful of exceptions, and adults have only ever flirted with him because to provoke him. He doesn't even have friends, the idea of relationships beyond that are completely alien to him.
So Endo says that, and gives further explanation that doesn't help at all (he really wishes it was just theft). He makes it all sound like it's perfectly normal and hell, maybe it is for him. He's already proven that he's bizarre in other ways, why not this, too? But Accelerator, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is stuck sitting there attempting to process this information as if it never could have occurred to him. Mostly because it didn't. Then there's the real kicker, with that very teasing "Jealous?", and that's when Accelerator notices he's shifted over to the edge of the bed.]
Huh?
[He heard that right? He heard that right.
Alright, anyone with two eyes can see that Endo is an attractive person. Even Accelerator (reluctantly) won't deny that. But anything beyond that is causing his brain to stall out, and before he can stop himself he's bristling and snapping back.]
What — why the hell would I be jealous of them?? [Endo is teasing him, like he did before when he said he was interested. That's all this is, and he's falling for it even with that awareness. Wait, is he supposed to be jealous of the women, or Endo? Fuck. Accelerator inwardly curses at himself and tries to relax even though it's too little too late, scowling as he sinks lower in the chair.] Why the fuck are you dating them, anyways? Aren't you in high school like me? Can't they find men their own age??
[Yeah, that's the issue here. Adults being irresponsible isn't anything new to him — hell, one time back home he ran into some idiot high schooler in a relationship with a pregnant teacher — but that doesn't mean he has to like it. With all the crap adults have put him through over the years that's a power dynamic he's never going to abide by.]
[ Even if he weren't dulled by pain medication, Endo wouldn't necessarily temper the excited smile that takes over his face as Accelerator processes this information — and his quip. He might've been more careful about it, though — more measured, or better in timing, or even not that intense, since too much too fast is only going to scare Accelerator away. It's not like Accelerator's fully comfortable around him yet. Endo's positive that he considered leaving earlier; meds aren't to fully turn off his tendency to analyze people.
But as before, the medication is just enough to shave off an edge to Endo's actions, and therefore he beams at Accelerator, entirely charmed and very pleased with his reaction — and himself. Because truthfully, Endo was teasing without putting a whole lot of forethought into his phrasing, thanks to the drugs, and he hadn't even meant to imply that Accelerator should be jealous of the women. Elated, Endo doesn't correct him. He keeps it to himself like a treasured little secret, absolutely reveling in the fact that Accelerator took it that way. This means that he's grown on Accelerator more than he anticipated.
He's in a really good mood now, so he happily chatters away. ]
I'm dating 'em 'cause I like 'em. And 'cause they're loaded. Why else?
[ Like it's the most natural thing in the world for a teenager to spend evening hours with women who're a good bit older than him. ]
And no, man, I'm not in high school anymore. I dropped out over a year ago. But I was dating 'em when I was a first-year, too. A couple of 'em would drive me to school in the mornings.
[ He drifts in thought a little, remembering one in particular, but then he snaps his attention back to Accelerator again to assure him: ]
Don't worry. It's all casual. I'm a free man.
[ Is it casual? Yes. Is Endo a free man? Not at all. But as he is right now, he doesn't intend it as a lie. Takiishi is separate, and he's loaded up on enough pain meds to avoid any deep thoughts about him. He's just happily in the present moment. ]
[Endo gives a smile that could light up an entire room and right away Accelerator knows he's said the wrong thing. He's torn between wanting to crawl into a hole to die and wanting to smash this entire hospital into rubble. Unfortunately for him, societal expectations mean he has to wrangle his feelings and he settles for scowling, cracking open his can of coffee and downing a large gulp. It's cold and bitter, and that's a comfort. The familiar taste of this exact brand (UCC Black Unsweetened, that's all he's been drinking for the past two weeks) helps settle his nerves.
It doesn't get rid of the mental image of Endo going out on dates with rich older women out of his head, but it helps.]
Tche.
[He isn't worried, is he? If Endo is running his own gang then he's clearly got some capability in handling people, especially people who might normally be difficult in some way. Banjo was a good indicator of that, along with the way the guy got into his head to bring his black wings out. But then on the other side of things, speaking of the wings.... this is also the idiot who looked like he would've embraced them if given the chance, no matter how obviously dangerous they are, so he isn't exactly responsible....
Endo's ability to judge situations is questionable. Accelerator isn't sure if that lack of ability extends to actual people. Should that even matter to him? He knows that he's a monster, so Endo's opinion of him doesn't change his view of himself. Beyond that, it shouldn't be any of his business when it comes to other people, so by that logic he shouldn't be worried. Despite that, there is still the niggling thought, the irritation of adults screwing around with the power dynamic for their own selfish whims. He's seen that far too many times outside the context of dating that he still feels skeptical. Surely dating can't change it that much?
Maybe he's overthinking all of this. His brain wants to start jumping to concepts like attachment theory, or better yet, nonlinear dynamics and he's pretty sure that trying to understand Endo's love life using mathematical models is a rabbit hole he should not go down. Even for someone who defines his reality through mathematical calculations that's kind of ridiculous.
He puts an elbow up on the arm of his chair, so that he can rest his forehead in his hand.]
What the fuck do you do if they start getting too attached? You can't expect adults who date kids to be emotionally stable people. What do they get out of the deal?
[All of that feels safe to ask, at least. There seems to be far too much potential for interpersonal drama to easily pop up he can't see how that kind of dating would be worthwhile. Of course his questions and skepticism may just be borne out of his own bias, finding all forms of interpersonal connections to be varying amounts of terrifying and exhausting, but still. He feels the need to ask.]
[ In the moments between that annoyed sound and the additional questions about his love life, Endo studies Accelerator's face. He decides, in his drug-induced lighter state of being, that he likes when Accelerator appears deep in thought. Rather, he likes that he's the impulse that pushes him to think deeply, because it means that he's really making a spot for himself in his mind. All that thinking, just for him! Like Accelerator can't help but turn him over and over, trying to figure him out, or maybe reconcile his former anger with his current interest. Or both! Whatever it is, Endo has the notion that's carving out a wider space in Accelerator's consciousness, and that's been his goal since he got smacked around by the wings, so he's feeling pretty good about it.
Since he's a little more open in this state, not exactly adhering to his plan step-by-careful-step as he originally intended, the smile on his face turns a little sappy. Soft. Fond, even, because all of that attention, internal though it may be, is his. And his alone! It feels kind of nice, actually, and that encourages him to keep answering questions. Not that any of this is a secret — Endo doesn't care what anyone does or doesn't know about his sex life — but he'd probably be a little more teasing, a little less direct, just for the hell of it. Instead, he allows this to be a pretty simplistic conversation, free from too many layers and complications. ]
I don't go for clingy women. Everyone knows the deal up front. Most of 'em don't expect a seventeen-year-old to settle down with them, anyway.
[ Which is not to say that Endo hasn't attracted the occasional romantic, but typically, the women he goes for have their own "business" ventures that keep them busy. They aren't looking to get a boyfriend or make a family. They just want to have fun.
But he doesn't elaborate further. He's too busy giving Accelerator a look, the exact kind that he might give one of those women once they're interested — all charming enticement, while he laughs low and leans a little too far over the bed, just to get a little closer.
If Accelerator doesn't look away, Endo will hold his stare as he says: ]
But you tell me: what do you think they're getting out of it?
[He shouldn't have asked that question. He really shouldn't have. The answer to it is obvious on its own, and with the way Endo, despite being injured and in a hospital bed, is actively trying to encroach on his personal space, he'd have to be a complete moron to not pick up on the answer. Hindsight is 20/20, he's a huge idiot. Accelerator stops rubbing his forehead, dropping his hand, realizing that this is likely the same affectation he puts on with the kind of women they've been talking about this whole time. Staring back at Endo, he can feel the incredibly rare reaction of his cheeks warming up.
So it isn't just dates. They're fucking, too. His brain shifts gears a bit, moving away from the dating aspect to sex which, unsurprisingly, is an area he knows even less about. Biological function is one thing, but people add layers and complexity to it to make it a whole other kettle of fish, except it isn't even fish but some alien marine life from the Mariana Trench. Dating may just be some ridiculous pretense for sex, since adults can be shallow and selfish like that. The women may think they still have some societal expectation to do it. He doesn't really know, he doesn't know how an adult woman with a libido thinks; the best he can do is taking whatever he learned about human psychology in school and apply it to the situation. And either way, he can't see Endo caring.
Before Accelerator can redirect his thoughts elsewhere his eyes are flicking downwards, then back up. Endo is attractive, he's already admitted that to himself, and he figures that would be enough to get his foot in the door, so to speak. Then, going off of what he knows about female anatomy, women are probably complicated in bed (he isn't sure where anyone beyond that narrow category falls, so he's starting at square one and going from there). Given the number of credit cards, it feels reasonable to conclude that Endo is at least good, likely falling closer on the 'great' end of the spectrum; Accelerator can't imagine anyone willingly handing over money for an experience that's barely passable. Does that mean a lot of foreplay (his eyes flick down again, to Endo's hands, and this time he notices the Roman numeral tattoo on his right ring finger is the wrong number compared to the others) and build up? Is that what women are into? He's given almost zero thought to this in his life, so it's a lot harder to picture compared to dating, which is possible to randomly see out in public —
Wait. Why the hell is he thinking about it this much? Goddamnit.
There's another flare of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, and Accelerator has to resist the urge to hit the switch on his choker. The fingertips of his free hand twitch, but he keeps it on the arm of the chair. He isn't completely sure which is stronger, the desire to alter his body chemistry to calm himself down, or to start smashing all this expensive medical equipment up. No, all of those reactions would only be admitting he's getting flustered again, and he doesn't want to give Endo that satisfaction (nor does he want to end up in jail). Instead he glares back, narrowing his eyes slightly, and mutters.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
(It's still a pain though. He's such a weakling without his ability.)
At least once they're outside it's a straightforward route to the emergency clinic. Just one step at a time, with Accelerator looking down often to make sure he isn't about to trip over his crutch.]
I got shot in the head.
[His answer is blunt, and he has no intention of tiptoeing around the gory details. There are parts he plans to leave out, like how he got shot in the first place, full context of the entire situation, Last Order, but otherwise he doesn't hold back. There's no point. As far as he's concerned, it was his own fault, so why should he?
He gives Endo a small glance. He isn't expecting anything kind out of Endo, and he doesn't want pity over what happened. What happened happened, and it's reasonable for someone to be curious about why someone so young needs a crutch and something to assist with brain function.]
I pissed off this scientist, and he had a gun. I managed to prevent the bullet from hitting my brain, but it still shattered my skull and caused a brain bleed.
[Accelerator can still remember staring down the gun, the pain and resignation he felt after his skull cracked but before he passed out. He doesn't regret throwing his own life away to save Last Order's, she was worth it. In fact he cracks a tiny, rueful smile that he's still alive.]
It's pure luck that I didn't die.
no subject
But there's something to be said for allowing Accelerator to continue to help him along. It works on multiple levels, in his mind: prolonging conversation, giving Endo the opportunity to analyze him up close and personal, keeping Accelerator's attention on him. And though Endo doesn't need to milk his very real injuries, there is something to be said for using dependency to build bonds. Accelerator may hate him after all that manipulation business, but it should be somewhat difficult to keep that hate in the forefront of his mind when the source of it is still in need.
Besides, physical contact is a good way to bolster all this sharing. ]
Whoa, that's pretty hardcore.
[ Nothing in his tone indicates that the compliment is false. Unlike earlier, his voice is absent of his taunting arrogance. Because hey — not many people get shot in the head and live to tell the tale. Endo isn't impressed, per se, because Accelerator did get shot in the first place, and by his own admission, only survived by luck (and souped up technology), but credit where credit is due. Plus, he's trying to buy a little more goodwill.
Look how far they've come since their fight! Accelerator is being conversational and everything. Endo just needs to keep that going, so he can plant a few more seeds before Accelerator dumps him at the hospital. ]
What'd you do to piss him off that bad?
[ Honestly, Endo has his guesses, since Accelerator isn't a likeable guy and lacks the charisma to cover for that. He's kind of hopeless in terms of social skills, and from Endo's perspective, a little too easy to upset. It's not difficult to imagine him pissing off anyone.
Once again, it isn't exactly the question he wants to ask — there's a lot more to dig into when it comes to those details — but he's still building toward something. ]
no subject
Right now he just needs to take this one step at a time, what few memories he has of that night coming back to him. Things get fuzzy around the time when he was shot, but most of it is still fairly clear, especially his last few thoughts before the bullet hit him. Accelerator is fully expecting to get teased over his explanation; maybe something about how he shouldn't be pissing off people with guns (valid), or some brazen remark about how his ability apparently must not work on bullets. Something along those lines, something to put him down a little, since the opportunity is right there and Endo has shown he isn't above tearing into him. It wouldn't even be unwarranted, in his opinion. He screwed up, he's the one who caused the entire situation in the first place.
But no, Accelerator can't detect even a hint of sarcasm, and his smile fades as he glances over warily. Sincerity? He's being sincere? Their close physical proximity makes him acutely aware he's staring after only a few moments, so he goes back to looking down at the sidewalk. That's a lot easier, and gives him another few seconds to decide whether or not he wants to answer.
It can't hurt. Sans some details, of course, and chances are explaining will result in some teasing, but whatever. It'd give him the chance to make it clear that it was his screw-up. He deserves at least a little ridicule for fucking everything up so badly.]
.... He was going to hurt some brats to pay off a fucking gambling debt. I stopped him, but I almost didn't bother. If I'd just helped out from the start things would've turned out a lot better.
[He huffs. That's more than enough information, he doesn't need to get into details about the clones or Last Order. That they were artificially created doesn't matter, nor does the method in which Amai Ao was going to hurt them. Just that he was going to, and he was stopped.]
First kind thing I did in my life.
[It only took him fifteen years.]
no subject
Until, that is, he encounters the incredibly rare situation of wanting something for himself. Then his approach matters deeply, albeit in an entirely different way. He'd go to the ends of the earth for Takiishi; he'd scam politicians and companies alike. He'd manipulate the emperor himself, if it would make Takiishi smile. But fostering a personal connection, no matter how fake or temporary it may be, requires a degree of give on his part. Such a relationship needs to play out on a much smaller scale, so he has to be extra sharp, capable of multiple shades of nuance, and even willing to meet the person part of the way to his chosen destination. He has to offer pieces of himself, albeit in a carefully controlled manner, in order slowly claim what he's decided will be his.
Deciding that he wants to be a subtle thorn in Accelerator's side for the foreseeable future means that he can't just break him down all over again, let alone with the intensity he did previously. This time, he has to go slower, be more methodical, and take more risks.
That's why, as Accelerator stares at him, undoubtedly looking for hidden meaning in his words, Endo doesn't smirk — or make any move, really. He's patient, and he keeps his expression smooth. And when Accelerator shares more, he doesn't make a sound until he's done talking.
When Endo speaks in turn, he shapes his reply to be somewhat supportive, but not excessively so, as Endo can't suddenly morph his personality into that of a cheerleader for the good and the needy without it being blatantly obvious that he's working a specific angle. ]
Sounds like you haven't changed much at all. [ He offers a small, teasing smile. ] You got a thing for sticking yourself right in the middle of other people's business.
[ His tone, however, is kinder than it's been throughout their entire time together, despite the fact that it's also clearly teasing. It's meant to be good-natured, even nostalgic, as though everything that happened between them took place a while ago, rather than that same day. ]
That was the turning point, huh? Funny how that works sometimes.
[ Even Endo has one of those in his history, although he arguably went in the opposite direction, a fact that would be more apparent if anyone could read his mind. Despite his words, Endo thinks that Accelerator must've been a hell of a lot more interesting before he decided to turn kind and "heroic." Now he's just sitting on all that potential.
Which is exactly why he needs Endo in his life. ]
no subject
Accelerator can read people when he needs to, but that's always been more of an application of psychological theories he learned in school than any kind of innate understand of other people. He doesn't see how that could help here, so he's left confused.]
Yeah, I guess so.
[Endo is wrong in assuming his tendency to insert himself into other people's business. For a long time he thought he had been normal (looking back now, having no friends and getting bullied by classmates wasn't normal), then he spent years deliberately isolating himself away from people. It's only recently that he's been doing this, because of the Sisters and Last Order. Because he wanted to follow in the footsteps of that Level 0. Because he's the strongest and therefore in the best position to help people.
On the other hand, he's right about how he hasn't changed much. Despite all that, at his core, he's still that same monster that killed half of the clones. That thought sticks in his mind, faded into the background as a realization hits him.
This almost feels like a normal conversation they're having. Something that's somewhat personal, so something he would talk about to someone with whom he he has a certain level of familiarity. Not a friend, the idea of him having friends is not a prospect he can bring himself to consider, but maybe an acquaintance or something. One of the people he'd been allied with in the past. It's almost normal and that's more than a little bewildering to him, particularly because it... doesn't feel that bad. Uncomfortable, yes, but not enough to make him retreat and clam up. A thoughtful kind of silence overtakes him for a few moments as he considers this.
Having a normal conversation isn't a bad thing. And a normal conversation shouldn't be completely one-sided, which is why he glances over at Endo again. When he speaks up again, it's a little reluctant, like he's still feeling out how to navigate this entire social situation.]
... You ever have one of those? A turning point?
[It's partly curiosity that drives him to ask that question, partly a desire to keep on conversing normally. He doesn't know anything about Endo outside of him being a weird (sometimes unsettling) asshole, while the guy knows a lot more about him. He's realizing he'd like to change that. Endo is a strange person, and he doesn't really understand what the hell is going through his head. Maybe it's just out of an abundance of cautious that he's asking? Know thy enemy or some shit. Accelerator isn't totally sure but it's a curiosity he's deciding to pursue for the moment.]
no subject
This proves to be true with Accelerator, because his silence is followed up by a gesture of reciprocity: a question of his own. A personal one, no less, which is very getting-to-know-you in its attempt. He kind of wants to laugh in return, but he keeps himself contained, instead simply nodding before replying. ]
A long time ago.
[ Endo doesn't go around sharing his backstory, but that isn't due to any great desire to keep secrets. He actually enjoys talking about himself, especially in reference to Takiishi, and could go on and on if given the opportunity. Generally speaking, nothing that he'd reveal would hurt him. If anything, it might confuse people. But Endo also likes being surrounded by mystery. It helps fuels all the rumors concerning him and keeps him both large and fearsome in people's minds — which is very useful in his line of work. Plenty of people respect him specifically because of those rumors.
But, in this case, he needs to be both serious and careful, probably for the first time ever. Because Accelerator is stronger than him with that false power at his disposal, and truly stronger with those wings. He doesn't want to create any leads that could be followed back to Takiishi, though Endo still thinks Takiishi would have some fun fighting him. It would be too much of a risk, and Endo's real responsibility is taking care of Takiishi and preserving his happiness. So this proud topic has to be a delicate one.
He still offers truths, as that's the best way to prove a degree of sincerity, but carefully chosen and shaped so as not to give away too much. ]
I was kinda lost as a kid. I dunno where I would have ended up, but it probably wouldn't've been great.
[ At the time, Endo was content with the emptiness of his life because he didn't know any better. But he was young, his world was small, and he was insulated by people who were impressed or unnerved by his talents. A decade would have been a long time to go without feeling much of anything. It's hard to imagine now that he's so removed from all of it. ]
But I met someone, and he changed everything for me.
[ Endo's life has been dedicated to him ever since. He smiles as he says as much, but unlike every smile that's graced his face thus far, it appears a little wistful. Then, immediately brightening, he cheerfully adds: ]
Now I'm here!
[ Being carted off to the hospital by someone other than the said person.
But what he really means is his chosen lifestyle, his "career," the level of respect he's obtained, and his ability to fill all the empty places within himself with the drive to keep Takiishi happy and bits of entertainment in between.
He's content. ]
no subject
They're coming from a similar place. That's a frightening thought. Does that mean they've got other similarities? Are they similar people? Having someone else in the world who is anything like him, a monster like him, seems like a complete nightmare.
He's quietly thoughtful, trying to process this information.]
Hmm.
[He can understand what it's like to have found someone that important. Last Order changed him, she's the entire reason he was shot. That Level 0, too; he was the one who made him realize the clones are more than just puppets. He was the one he tried to emulate for so long, the person he put on a pedestal has a real hero, the ally he knows he can trust unconditionally even when they're on opposing sides. It wasn't just one incident with Kamijou Touma but many of them, small and large, building up over time until Accelerator became the person he is now. If it wasn't for him he'd be an entirely different person, a far worse person. He's sure of that.
Actually, he has to wonder what that third string would do if he was here right now. Probably punch out a lot of those gang members, make them reconsider their terrible life choices. He'd for sure punch out Endo and — okay, that is something he'd enjoy seeing. He's been on the receiving end of that fist more than enough times to know exactly how it would go: there would be a fight, of course, and somehow Kamijou would get to the root of the issue, and before punching him out he'd say something awe-inspiring —
... Well, anyways. Accelerator blinks, it taking him a few moments to re-focus his attention. That Level 0 isn't here, so those are just stray thoughts that don't matter. The point is, he understands where Endo is coming from, a strange turn of events given out little he relates to other people, particularly people around his age. He can't even imagine the kind of person that would have been enough to change someone like Endo, nor what Endo could have been like before meeting him. Normal? Worse? Better? That wistful expression, no matter how brief it is, doesn't go unnoticed, and it raises more questions in Accelerator's mind. He has to sort through them, filter out the ones that are way too brazen, and comes up with something fairly low-key.]
Was that the person you tried to call?
[His tone isn't judgmental. Sure, it would've been easier if whoever that was had answered the damn phone, but there are tons of legitimate reasons for someone to not pick up. It is what it is. He's just curious.]
no subject
Does it bother him that Takiishi is unreliable? Self-centered? Not at all worried about where he is right now? No, Endo would say. He's made peace with the fact that Takiishi could take or leave him. He's content. Takiishi doesn't need to care; he does the caring for him.
(And if it stings a little, that's easily ignored, shoved down, unacknowledged — a non-issue.)
He's thinking about Takiishi while Accelerator is busy thinking about — whatever it is he's currently mulling over. Endo's therefore unconcerned by how much time passes, wondering how long he's going to be kept in the hospital and thinking about all the ways in which his stint will inconvenience Takiishi. He decides that Accelerator's going to have to buy him a phone before he leaves, that way he can at least warn Takiishi that he won't be able to provide meals until he's released.
Despite making these tentative plans, he hears Accelerator's questions and answers it without hesistation, a soft: ]
Yeah.
[ This is where he'd normally go into depth about Takiishi — rambling on about him and his fighting abilities and how he's kind of a mess but absolutely beautiful when he fights. The monologue is on the tip of his tongue, but too many details might lead to problems. Endo has more work to do in securing Accelerator as his, and until then, he doesn't want to reveal too much.
But he will share a little, if only to get to indulge in talking about him. ]
He's not really a phone guy. Half the time, his cell's stuffed in a drawer or closet, dead. And when it isn't dead, it's usually on the charger, not in his pocket.
[ His tone isn't saccharine, but there's a fond quality to it that Endo doesn't bother to disguise. ]
It still had battery when I called, so he might see my message at some point.
[ As for when that could happen — maybe tomorrow morning. Maybe not. It's hard to say. ]
no subject
Accelerator manages to keep a straight face, but inwardly he can feel the urge to judge this person rising. Whoever the hell this is doesn't sound particularly responsible or reliable. That's a stark contrast from that Level 0. Despite everything he's done, Accelerator knows he can depend on Kamijou Touma. If he ever felt the need to contact that dumbass for help he doesn't doubt that he would show up eventually. Being who he is, there's a chance he'd be late (probably off saving someone else, because he's that kind of person), but he knows he'd still show up.
Whoever this person is, they aren't Kamijou Touma.
Worse than that is the lack of certainty that he'll show up for Endo for any of this. Being alone and stuck in a hospital is shitty, he knows that from personal experience. The last time he was in one he at least had Last Order and some of the clones for company, and that had been infinitely better than being on his own. If Last Order was here he knows what she'd do, and he's pretty sure he knows what that Level 0 would do, too.
He's kind of hating both of them right now, even though this is all hypothetical and all in his head.]
Clinic's over there. [He jerks his head in the direction of the building, a glowing sign above the entrance indicating that they've arrived. His next words come far more reluctantly, like he doesn't want to ask but can't keep quiet.] ... Have you got anyone else you can call?
no subject
He keeps walking as though none of that is going through his head, even responding to Accelerator without a hitch, but he swallows before speaking, his throat feeling dry. Endo's never been this injured before, and though vulnerability hasn't been a huge factor in anything he's done so far, he feels it now as he anticipates everything that's going to happen once he walks through those doors.
Takiishi isn't exactly a source of overflowing comfort and support, but Endo does kind of wish he were here now that all this is on his mind. If nothing else, he could turn his unnerving stare on the nurses and doctors to keep them from pestering Endo too much. ]
Yeah, but I'm not gonna.
[ Technically speaking, Endo has a lot of contacts. When he's not being a freak or messing with people for some reason or another, he's actually pretty charismatic, and that means "friends" are easy for him to make. But calling any of them over to sit by his bedside? No thanks. He'd rather be alone. ]
I do need a phone, though.
[ He flashes a brief smile in Accelerator's direction. Only one of them is capable of going shopping, and guess who it is? ]
no subject
Tche.
[Accelerator scowls back, picking up what Endo means. He doesn't argue, though; it is his fault the phone broke, and with his absurd bank account paying to replace it isn't actually a big deal. He makes a mental note to get Endo's broken phone, and heads for the entrance.
Thank God the doors are automatic, because he couldn't manage a normal one right now. Inside, the ER is what one would expect from a normal hospital: a lot of white, signs everywhere, and the strong smell of disinfectant. Accelerator glances around once, then turns and heads over to a waiting area with chairs. There are a few people already waiting for some reason or another, and they get some strange looks that he pointedly ignores. It's whatever, he's certain half the reason people can't mind their own business is because regular people aren't used to being in a hospital, so the oppressive atmosphere stresses them out. (The other half is probably because it looks like a skinny disabled teen picked a fight and won against a teen who by all accounts should've kicked the shit out of him and may or may not be yakuza.)
Stopping at the nearest chair, he unceremoniously dumps Endo into it.]
Wait here.
[What, like he's going to wander off somewhere in this state??
Accelerator doesn't even wait for an answer before abruptly turning and heading over to the front desk. He's only there for a minute or two, talking to the front desk clerk, before coming back over with a pen, clipboard and some paperwork in hand. Sinking down into the chair next to Endo, he retracts his crutch so he can use his right hand. When he speaks up he keeps his eyes on the paperwork. There's a lot of information that needs to be filled out.]
I told them you got sideswiped by a car. [Because 'mangled by by the literal manifestation of negative self-actualization' would only get him more weird looks.] So they're going to get you in ahead of some other people. Give me your wallet.
no subject
The reason he hates it here is not because it's a hospital. He's never really spent much time in one, or even in doctor's offices, so he has no real association with them, positive or negative. Rather, it's because the sterile environment and fluorescent lighting remind him of a testing center from way, way back in his memories. It's an innate feeling born out of childhood nonsense that doesn't matter anymore, so as Accelerator dumps him into a chair and Endo attempts to sit in a way that makes him look a little less pathetic, he silently talks himself out of feeling anything about the clinic at all.
When Accelerator joins him again, Endo raises his eyebrows at the lie, amused because getting hit by a car is pretty damn lame compared to what actually happened. But credit where credit is due: it's a good lie. If nothing else, it'll keep the staff from asking too many questions, especially if they think it was a hit and run. ]
I'll give you my wallet when you get the phone.
[ Minus his ID, because there's no way in hell that he's (1) putting his real info on that paperwork, and (2) giving Accelerator anything that'll lead back to Takiishi.
He leans to look Accelerator's shoulder, winces a little, and wishes the hospital would've started pain medication before all of this. Though, to be fair, he won't take anything until he's in a room, free of having to make decisions. Until that point, he needs to stay sharp. ]
Just make stuff up. Put my name down as —
[ A brief pause while he makes a decision to mess with a certain someone — the only person that he actually hates. ]
Umemiya Hajime. Birthday February 1st.
[ If Accelerator doesn't question or protest this false information, then Endo will answer everything as though he's Umemiya. Too bad his phone is broken. He'd take a picture so he could send it to him later.
Then again, Umemiya would probably just overlook that and act all concerned instead. ]
no subject
(Though really, he already gave a lie about what happened. What's a few more on top of that one?)
He glances up briefly from his scribbling to see some nurses past the desk getting a bed and wheelchair together. At least they're being prompt. Turning his gaze back down to the papers, he taps the section asking for a medical history with his pen.]
Any reason you don't want to give them your real information?
[His tone is very dry as he asks that. The idea of a kid faking personal information and handing it over to medical personnel would never happen back home. Researchers or administrators? Sure, if they were doing some unethical experimentation and wanted their research to continue. But a kid wouldn't have that much power and expect to get away with it.]
no subject
[ He asks this nonchalantly. A shrug would accompany the question, but since that's a risky movement without the aid of pain medication, he doesn't give in to the temptation — this time. ]
Do you?
[ Doesn't sound like a good idea for a guy powered by a mysterious choker and capable of turning into a deity. It isn't a good idea for Endo, either; he runs a lot of gangs, his name is kind of well-known, and again: he won't do anything to put Takiishi in danger. Umemiya's identity it is, for the foreseeable future.
Anyway: ]
No medical history.
[ He's been punched in the face a lot by Takiishi over the years, but that's about it as far as any injuries go, and Endo's pretty healthy. But even if that weren't the case, he'd probably still go with none, since he doesn't want any of this leading back to him.
He glances at the nurses while they finish up with the bed-and-wheelchair combo. ]
Here. [ It takes a moment, but he manages to dig his wallet out of his pocket and remove his ID. He's a little out of breath after that, but he manages: ] In case they make me go back alone.
[ When the time comes for Accelerator to look into the wallet, he'll find it full of credit cards in women's names. And yes, Endo intends for him to use one of those to pay for his new phone. ]
no subject
[He's had an enormous paper trail since he was a small child, so the thought of not having one is bizarre (also bizarre is not having any medical history). Accelerator can only give a vague shrug as he finishes up the paperwork while a nurse comes around with a wheelchair for Endo. The two of them may have walked in here but a bunch of medical professionals are going to be slightly more careful about exacerbating any potentially serious injuries. The paperwork gets handed over, and Accelerator gets to his feet, re-extending his crutch.]
Have fun.
[Shoving Endo's wallet into his hoodie, he turns to head out. He isn't planning on sticking around, fairly sure that if he does all he'll be doing is hanging around for hours and hours in the waiting room while doctors take x-rays and MRIs and whatever else. There's no point, he'd only be running his battery down.
So he leaves, goes and finds an internet cafe to fully charge his choker, take a nap, and clean up his nose. He got off a lot easier than Endo, but his face is still sore. Then, once he's gotten himself sorted out, he sits back and tries to decide what to do.
He could just leave. Despite having Endo's wallet, there isn't anything forcing him to go back to the hospital. At most he could drop it off at the front desk, then ditch the guy. He's gotten him to the hospital where doctors will take care of his injuries, so he doesn't owe him anything else.
Aside from a new phone.
And being in the hospital alone would be really shitty. That one he knows from personal experience.
... Plus, ignoring that whole nonsense with his wings, they were kind of getting along....
Those thoughts make Accelerator want to smash something, but he chooses the more mature option of stomping off to the nearest shopping district. He isn't actually sure what kind of phone Endo uses, and as he walks he considers his options. In the end, he decides to go for an iphone, so after finding the closest Apple store and purchases the newest, top-of-the-line model. Doing that reminds him of the wallet, so after he finishes he pulls it out and, out of curiosity, rifles through it.
And finds a bunch of womens' credit cards. The fuck? Are these supposed to be a joke?? But they look real, so Accelerator is at a complete loss as to why Endo has them. Is the guy a pickpocket or something? Who the hell still pickpockets in this day and age?
Sighing heavily, he pockets the thing then starts to make his way back to the hospital. On the way he stops at a convenience store to get himself a can of coffee. He needs to feed his addiction before diving back into the fucking mess that is Endo Yamato.
When he arrives back at the hospital he heads into the normal entrance, asking for the room number for one Umemiya Hajime, and surprised to find no one has caught on to that being a fake name. When he's given the number and directions up to the appropriate ward he thanks the clerk and wanders on up, taking a few moments outside the room to steel himself for ugh, more socialization, before poking his head in.]
Yo.
no subject
Endo wouldn't call the experience fun, but compared to his two unmedicated journeys, one of which consisted in part of a hand at his ribs, he's having a fine time. All the tests, x-rays, MRIs are annoying at best, but pretty tolerable with the aid of meds. He's actually in a pretty good mood when everything is done and the nurses finally deposit him on a bed for the foreseeable future. And since they also stabilized his arm with a splint-and-sling combo, Endo's only real complaint is his ribs. But that's exactly what another dose of medication is for.
Once he's actually settled in bed, without his pain being a huge deciding factor in everything he does, he pretty much immediately falls asleep. It turns out that getting beaten around by a god and suffering from untended injuries for a little bit too long is exhausting. His sleep is deep, dreamless, and only interrupted when Accelerator returns.
At the sound of his greeting, Endo awakens with an expression of pure confusion, as though he expected to wake up back at home, or at the very least alone. Then, with subdued surprise: ]
You came back.
[ Originally, Endo was sure he would, what with his whole hero complex, the guilt factor, and the fact that Endo was clearly growing on him a little. But with heavy pain meds and the confusion of sleep mixed in, Endo remembered that he's a pretty bad judge of character, generally speaking, and he's also kind of not great at holding on to the things he wants. It's not that he lost confidence in himself so much as he forgot he'd already made plans and contingencies, that seeds were planted, that he had pretty much taken care of everything before conking out. In the immediacy of waking up, he felt as though he had a lot more to do than he already had.
But since that's clearly not an issue, he decides to enjoy his past self's work and relax into a much more typical, if somewhat sloppy, smile.
And immediately put Accelerator to work. ]
Hey, can you grab me that water?
[ He points at a hospital-issued jug of water that's sitting on a small table out of Endo's reach, thanks to the many machines to which he's currently connected. The jug is nice and full, and Endo has yet to take a sip. He's on nothing by mouth orders, which means he isn't supposed to be eating or drinking anything, as he may need surgery. But Endo hasn't had water in what feels like days, and he doubts he's going to need anything more than a cast and some meds to go. His real plan is to discharge himself as soon as he can.
But explaining this to Accelerator may lead him to refuse the water, and right now, hydration is all Endo wants. The phone, the wallet, basking in the fact that Accelerator looks as though he might be settling in for the long haul — all that can wait until he's had a sip. Or ten. ]
no subject
[Endo's remark is simple, unsurprising, and yet Accelerator feels himself hit with a wave of uncomfortable anxiety. Maybe he shouldn't have come back. This is the kind thing to do, the good thing, and he isn't a good person. He won't even pretend to be, so maybe this was all a big, stupid mistake? Except he's here now, so at the very least he needs to drop that goddamn phone off before running like a total coward. At least he has a can of coffee he can chug, that will make him feel a little better.
All of that runs through his head as he steps into the room and his gaze (irritated, as usual) turns from Endo over to the jug. Okay, water, he can do that.
He sets two bags down on the table next to the jug. One is clearly a paper bag from an Apple store, containing the new cell phone. The other is a plain plastic bag containing his can of coffee. With his hand freed up, he grabs the jug and pours Endo a cup of water.]
What did the doctors say?
[That's information he could at least use. His own analysis earlier hadn't been all that in-depth and he can't replace a real doctor and medical equipment, so he's curious as to how bad the injuries are. Being stuck at least one night in the hospital for monitoring wouldn't surprise him at all. Surgery might be a little more extreme, he isn't totally sure his wings did that much damage, but that wouldn't really surprise him either.
Setting the jug down, he grabs the cup to hand it over, not thinking anything of it. Obviously if Endo wasn't allowed any fluids he'd be following the orders of health professionals, obviously, so Accelerator doesn't question the request.]
no subject
Fuck, that's good.
[ It's just water. Nothing special about it. But right now, it might as well be the most precious drink on earth. He wants more, but while he may be completely disregarding the doctor's orders, he won't ask for seconds. He'll restrain himself for now.
Maybe.
Belatedly, and distractedly: ]
They're seeing if I need surgery. We're waiting on results.
[ His attention is on Accelerator, and it's a little intense. He's subdued by the meds, but not as effectively as he should be. They take away an edge that Endo considers very important, because where as he should now revert to teasing, or demanding the new phone, or easing his way further into "friendship" with Accelerator, he blurts out: ]
Are you gonna sit?
[ And, y'know, stay? Endo doesn't need company, but Accelerator's making him feel a little — unsettled, because he's just standing there like he's aiming to have one foot out the door.
For that same reason, it comes out phrased as a question, rather than an assertion of what Accelerator should do. Endo rubs his face, trying to wake himself up some more. ]
no subject
He feels nice. Good, even, for being able to help with something so simple.
It's a flicker of emotion, not enough to make Accelerator's expression shift. This is a rare feeling for him, a monster like himself typically doesn't feel good about something, and he's surprised by it. It's only water, so why should it even matter? Is it the fact that it is such a small thing that makes it feel significant? He's so used to hurting people that doing something kind when it isn't out of a sense of obligation is enough to affect him?
He isn't sure, and with Endo's answer he decides not to dwell on it, blinking as he snaps out of his thoughts. Surgery? Hopefully it doesn't come to that. The question has him pausing as well, and he grabs the Apple bag, dropping it into Endo's lap, followed by his wallet. There, the main two reasons he showed back up are done, so he no longer has any obligation to stick around. He can leave and not feel bad about doing so. Except....
Except doing something nice not out of any sense of obligation isn't such a bad thing. Grabbing a nearby chair, he drags it over to the side of the bed. Then he takes his convenience store bag and sits down. To give his arm a break he's going to let go of his crutch, leaving it standing on its own next to the chair.
It's fine, is what he tells himself. It's worth sticking about to see what the doctors conclude, if surgery is needed. Making more of an effort towards someone he's hurt isn't a bad thing either, and besides, his opinion on hospitals hasn't changed. Being stuck in one all alone sucks. Keeping Endo company, even for a little while, is the right thing to do.]
What's with all the credit cards with women's names on them?
[While he asks that Accelerator pulls out his can of coffee, popping it open and taking a long sip. That was something he noticed earlier when poking around his wallet, and he's curious.]
no subject
So it's a good thing that Accelerator drags that chair over and settles into it with a drink of his own. Endo relaxes, feeling that restless energy begin to drain. Which, in turn, allows him to answer somewhat brightly: ]
Those are from the women I'm dating.
[ — as he grins, still a little sleepily. ]
Or were dating, before.
[ Sometimes only for a night, sometimes he gets a short-term thing going. Depends on what he needs, how much fun he's having, and how much money she has to spare. ]
Don't worry, I didn't steal 'em. They gave 'em to me.
[ And they can cancel them at any time, if they get tired of seeing charges build up. But they don't! They keep paying their bills, which means that whenever they're in town and looking for a little fun, they have a nice excuse to call him up. Endo visits with them, stays the night, and the next thing he knows, his credit limit has gone up. It's a nice system. Win-win.
And whenever one of them falls off the grid or does cancel her card, Endo goes and picks up someone else. This cycle keeps his pockets buffered, elevating his lifestyle beyond gang profits. He and Takiishi have expensive tastes, after all.
He shifts as best he can, moving closer to Accelerator's side of the bed, to add a teasing: ]
Jealous?
[ But even after saying the word, he stays lying along the edge of the bed, choosing to settle right there. He can't invade Accelerator's space while hooked up to machines, but he uses his physical presence as best he can regardless. ]
no subject
But dating. Dating. Accelerator hears that and freezes, stunned (even though objectively speaking, it's not some huge bombshell). This is an area of life in which he has exactly zero experience: practically every person he's ever known his own age is either terrified of him or wants to fight him, with a tiny handful of exceptions, and adults have only ever flirted with him because to provoke him. He doesn't even have friends, the idea of relationships beyond that are completely alien to him.
So Endo says that, and gives further explanation that doesn't help at all (he really wishes it was just theft). He makes it all sound like it's perfectly normal and hell, maybe it is for him. He's already proven that he's bizarre in other ways, why not this, too? But Accelerator, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is stuck sitting there attempting to process this information as if it never could have occurred to him. Mostly because it didn't. Then there's the real kicker, with that very teasing "Jealous?", and that's when Accelerator notices he's shifted over to the edge of the bed.]
Huh?
[He heard that right? He heard that right.
Alright, anyone with two eyes can see that Endo is an attractive person. Even Accelerator (reluctantly) won't deny that. But anything beyond that is causing his brain to stall out, and before he can stop himself he's bristling and snapping back.]
What — why the hell would I be jealous of them?? [Endo is teasing him, like he did before when he said he was interested. That's all this is, and he's falling for it even with that awareness. Wait, is he supposed to be jealous of the women, or Endo? Fuck. Accelerator inwardly curses at himself and tries to relax even though it's too little too late, scowling as he sinks lower in the chair.] Why the fuck are you dating them, anyways? Aren't you in high school like me? Can't they find men their own age??
[Yeah, that's the issue here. Adults being irresponsible isn't anything new to him — hell, one time back home he ran into some idiot high schooler in a relationship with a pregnant teacher — but that doesn't mean he has to like it. With all the crap adults have put him through over the years that's a power dynamic he's never going to abide by.]
no subject
But as before, the medication is just enough to shave off an edge to Endo's actions, and therefore he beams at Accelerator, entirely charmed and very pleased with his reaction — and himself. Because truthfully, Endo was teasing without putting a whole lot of forethought into his phrasing, thanks to the drugs, and he hadn't even meant to imply that Accelerator should be jealous of the women. Elated, Endo doesn't correct him. He keeps it to himself like a treasured little secret, absolutely reveling in the fact that Accelerator took it that way. This means that he's grown on Accelerator more than he anticipated.
He's in a really good mood now, so he happily chatters away. ]
I'm dating 'em 'cause I like 'em. And 'cause they're loaded. Why else?
[ Like it's the most natural thing in the world for a teenager to spend evening hours with women who're a good bit older than him. ]
And no, man, I'm not in high school anymore. I dropped out over a year ago. But I was dating 'em when I was a first-year, too. A couple of 'em would drive me to school in the mornings.
[ He drifts in thought a little, remembering one in particular, but then he snaps his attention back to Accelerator again to assure him: ]
Don't worry. It's all casual. I'm a free man.
[ Is it casual? Yes. Is Endo a free man? Not at all. But as he is right now, he doesn't intend it as a lie. Takiishi is separate, and he's loaded up on enough pain meds to avoid any deep thoughts about him. He's just happily in the present moment. ]
no subject
It doesn't get rid of the mental image of Endo going out on dates with rich older women out of his head, but it helps.]
Tche.
[He isn't worried, is he? If Endo is running his own gang then he's clearly got some capability in handling people, especially people who might normally be difficult in some way. Banjo was a good indicator of that, along with the way the guy got into his head to bring his black wings out. But then on the other side of things, speaking of the wings.... this is also the idiot who looked like he would've embraced them if given the chance, no matter how obviously dangerous they are, so he isn't exactly responsible....
Endo's ability to judge situations is questionable. Accelerator isn't sure if that lack of ability extends to actual people. Should that even matter to him? He knows that he's a monster, so Endo's opinion of him doesn't change his view of himself. Beyond that, it shouldn't be any of his business when it comes to other people, so by that logic he shouldn't be worried. Despite that, there is still the niggling thought, the irritation of adults screwing around with the power dynamic for their own selfish whims. He's seen that far too many times outside the context of dating that he still feels skeptical. Surely dating can't change it that much?
Maybe he's overthinking all of this. His brain wants to start jumping to concepts like attachment theory, or better yet, nonlinear dynamics and he's pretty sure that trying to understand Endo's love life using mathematical models is a rabbit hole he should not go down. Even for someone who defines his reality through mathematical calculations that's kind of ridiculous.
He puts an elbow up on the arm of his chair, so that he can rest his forehead in his hand.]
What the fuck do you do if they start getting too attached? You can't expect adults who date kids to be emotionally stable people. What do they get out of the deal?
[All of that feels safe to ask, at least. There seems to be far too much potential for interpersonal drama to easily pop up he can't see how that kind of dating would be worthwhile. Of course his questions and skepticism may just be borne out of his own bias, finding all forms of interpersonal connections to be varying amounts of terrifying and exhausting, but still. He feels the need to ask.]
no subject
Since he's a little more open in this state, not exactly adhering to his plan step-by-careful-step as he originally intended, the smile on his face turns a little sappy. Soft. Fond, even, because all of that attention, internal though it may be, is his. And his alone! It feels kind of nice, actually, and that encourages him to keep answering questions. Not that any of this is a secret — Endo doesn't care what anyone does or doesn't know about his sex life — but he'd probably be a little more teasing, a little less direct, just for the hell of it. Instead, he allows this to be a pretty simplistic conversation, free from too many layers and complications. ]
I don't go for clingy women. Everyone knows the deal up front. Most of 'em don't expect a seventeen-year-old to settle down with them, anyway.
[ Which is not to say that Endo hasn't attracted the occasional romantic, but typically, the women he goes for have their own "business" ventures that keep them busy. They aren't looking to get a boyfriend or make a family. They just want to have fun.
But he doesn't elaborate further. He's too busy giving Accelerator a look, the exact kind that he might give one of those women once they're interested — all charming enticement, while he laughs low and leans a little too far over the bed, just to get a little closer.
If Accelerator doesn't look away, Endo will hold his stare as he says: ]
But you tell me: what do you think they're getting out of it?
no subject
So it isn't just dates. They're fucking, too. His brain shifts gears a bit, moving away from the dating aspect to sex which, unsurprisingly, is an area he knows even less about. Biological function is one thing, but people add layers and complexity to it to make it a whole other kettle of fish, except it isn't even fish but some alien marine life from the Mariana Trench. Dating may just be some ridiculous pretense for sex, since adults can be shallow and selfish like that. The women may think they still have some societal expectation to do it. He doesn't really know, he doesn't know how an adult woman with a libido thinks; the best he can do is taking whatever he learned about human psychology in school and apply it to the situation. And either way, he can't see Endo caring.
Before Accelerator can redirect his thoughts elsewhere his eyes are flicking downwards, then back up. Endo is attractive, he's already admitted that to himself, and he figures that would be enough to get his foot in the door, so to speak. Then, going off of what he knows about female anatomy, women are probably complicated in bed (he isn't sure where anyone beyond that narrow category falls, so he's starting at square one and going from there). Given the number of credit cards, it feels reasonable to conclude that Endo is at least good, likely falling closer on the 'great' end of the spectrum; Accelerator can't imagine anyone willingly handing over money for an experience that's barely passable. Does that mean a lot of foreplay (his eyes flick down again, to Endo's hands, and this time he notices the Roman numeral tattoo on his right ring finger is the wrong number compared to the others) and build up? Is that what women are into? He's given almost zero thought to this in his life, so it's a lot harder to picture compared to dating, which is possible to randomly see out in public —
Wait. Why the hell is he thinking about it this much? Goddamnit.
There's another flare of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, and Accelerator has to resist the urge to hit the switch on his choker. The fingertips of his free hand twitch, but he keeps it on the arm of the chair. He isn't completely sure which is stronger, the desire to alter his body chemistry to calm himself down, or to start smashing all this expensive medical equipment up. No, all of those reactions would only be admitting he's getting flustered again, and he doesn't want to give Endo that satisfaction (nor does he want to end up in jail). Instead he glares back, narrowing his eyes slightly, and mutters.]
That seems like a waste of money to me.
accelerator is so cute lol
they're both doofuses omg
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)