[ Now it's Endo's turn to be a little confused. He never said it, but he didn't necessarily hide it, either. He wasn't trying to keep a secret, not before all of this. If at any point Takiishi had asked or showed curiosity he would've explained.
It's true he didn't make it obvious, either, but how would that have felt, if Endo were dropping to his knees or asking for things that Takiishi wouldn't give? How would Takiishi feel, with that burden of knowledge as a pressure that might hold him down? What if Takiishi decided he was tired of him for good, knowing that Endo's needs would only get in the way?
Still it isn't Takiishi job to show an interest. He doesn't need to think any which way about Endo, and Endo didn't want to force his hand. He also truly didn't think it mattered to Takiishi.
Even though Takiishi made that statement, Endo still isn't sure it matters now.
But he feels more guilt regardless. Because any way you look at it, it's still his fuckup. Multiple fuckups.
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It's true he didn't make it obvious, either, but how would that have felt, if Endo were dropping to his knees or asking for things that Takiishi wouldn't give? How would Takiishi feel, with that burden of knowledge as a pressure that might hold him down? What if Takiishi decided he was tired of him for good, knowing that Endo's needs would only get in the way?
Still it isn't Takiishi job to show an interest. He doesn't need to think any which way about Endo, and Endo didn't want to force his hand. He also truly didn't think it mattered to Takiishi.
Even though Takiishi made that statement, Endo still isn't sure it matters now.
But he feels more guilt regardless. Because any way you look at it, it's still his fuckup. Multiple fuckups.
Quietly: ]
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